The Journal of Madie Beartri

Journal 133

We had gone over our plan a thousand times. We even discussed the things that could go wrong and alternate plans that we would take if anything went wrong. We went over and over the steps that we would take to make the plan work. We practiced and practiced the roles that each of us would play. Because Anna was already suspicious of Kate’s motives I got to play the devout follower role.

I spent two days living at the Spurs Fort kissing up to Anna and learning everything I could about Aloysius. If you are going to overtake and crumble the enemy, it helps to make her your friend. I studied, I cooked, I cleaned, I praised Aloysius every free moment I had. Just to make sure Anna knew I was devout I kissed her feet and washed her back. In a heartfelt display of devotion, I asked Anna if I could pass out the offering at the next Aloysius rally for the seekers. Anna thought it was a wonderful idea. Anna had her tailor fit me with robes.

Marty estimated to the best of his ability the amount of Gin that each of us would need to consume before the rally and then we drank a little more just to make sure none of our brains would turn into mush. I didn’t want Anna to turn me into a walking complacent zombie. Playing the role was hard enough.

Marty, Tony, Jonas, Victor, and I walked into the rally together. Anna requested I privately meet with her soon after we had arrived. Anna was pleased. Not everyone from Bear Country was present but the show was big enough to let Anna know that I was serious about my dedication to the Will of Aloysius.

Kate and her friends spread out among the other guests. We gave each other the secret sign and mingled with the seekers. Everyone was hanging around the food tables stuffing their faces with the assortment of treats. It was a happy crowd.

Journal 132

I should have known that sneaking into the Spurs Fort to get more Gin to try out our theory wasn’t going to be an easy one. It did start out easy. Kate and I snuck into the Spurs Fort through the cellar just as we had done before. There weren’t any guards around. At least no guards were paying attention to what they were supposed to be doing. I had a moment of thought that our entry was a little too easy. I ignored my feelings and continued to follow Kate to her room.

Anna was sitting on Kate’s bed as we opened the door. She was grinning from ear to ear as she looked at Kate and said, “Welcome home.” Two guards stepped in behind us and closed the door the moment we entered the room. I wasn’t going to be able to escape that way. The window was my only other option. With a running start, I could have dived through the window and only broken a few bones in the fall. I won’t mention the dirty words that were exploding in my head as I tried to figure out what to say.

I take my hat off to Kate. She was a quick thinker. I followed her lead as she praised Aloysius and stroked Anna’s ego. I think I turned Anna around the moment I said I was struggling to get everyone in Bear Country to accept the Will of Aloysius. I needed Kate’s help and advice. I was feeling inadequate and ashamed of my inability to persuade my friends to follow Aloysius. I feared for my friends. I apologized if I had gotten Kate into trouble, but I needed help and advice from someone that had firsthand seen the goodness that was Aloysius. I shed a few tears and begged Anna not to send me away. Anna left the room with her guards.

Journal 131

Marty is a wise man. I didn’t think he was actually paying attention to what was happening outside of his tent in his corner of the room. Marty, Cecelia, and the baby kept to themselves most of the time. They rarely talked to anyone unless they were performing some assigned chore. I really hadn’t seen Cecelia at all. I had heard the baby cry occasionally.

Kate and I were talking, discussing how we might save Joshua and the others at the Spurs Fort when Marty asked Kate if anyone else at the Spurs Fort was addicted to alcohol. It was a rude question, and I told Marty so. Kate rolled her eyes at Marty and sarcastically said she only drank occasionally, she wasn’t addicted. Except for Kate and her friends Lynette, Travis, and Pepper, no one at the Spurs Fort had had a drink since Anna arrived. Anna had forbidden the use of alcohol by everyone at the Spurs Fort. She had it all destroyed except for the case Kate had hidden in her room.

I could see the wheels turning in Marty’s head. Something had clicked in that scientific brain of his. Marty said certain medications are less effective and sometimes inactive if you drink alcohol. He said the reason Kate, her friends, Tony, and I weren’t affected by the drug put in the offerings at the Aloysius rallies was because the use of Gin could be making the drug ineffective.

Journal 130

Kate snuck out of the Spurs Fort again today. She was a bit on the tipsy side. Not drunk but you could tell she had been drinking Gin. Kate was desperate for my help. Anna will no longer let Kate see her brother Joshua.

No one alive today is responsible for what happened in the past. I know this. The adults screwed up our lives. It’s a day-to-day struggle just to survive. The strong are always beating down the weak or using the weak to gain power and authority over everyone else.

I hate my life. I hate this place. Sheriff Pete acts as if I never held a position of authority around here. No one inside Bear Country wants to help me. Sheriff Pete said we needed to worry about Bear Country and let the other gangs worry about themselves. Pete said it wouldn’t be possible to get help from any of the other local gangs that are a part of our gang association. Most of the local gang leaders have decided to follow the Will of Aloysius. The gangs not following the will of Aloysius want to be left alone.

I begged and I pleaded for someone to help Kate and me. Tony just shook his head and walked away. Matt and Hemy didn’t want to get involved. The only one that offered any help at all was Victor. He only wants to help because of the food.

Journal 129

At the end of the rally, I retrieved Tony and walked toward the exit. We nearly made it out the door when suddenly Anna stepped into my path. I was tired and wanted to go home to Bear Country but instead I played loyal follower of Aloysius. I’m thinking I probably should have grown up to be an actor. I praised Anna and thanked her for leading me to Aloysius. I was quite convincing. In return, Anna asked me to do her a favor. Before hearing the request, I pledged my faithfulness as a loyal follower and said I would do anything for Aloysius. Anna was pleased. At least she seemed pleased. Anna asked me to bring everyone residing in Bear Country to the next seeker rally. I smiled at Anna as my brain cursed me with every dirty word I knew. I couldn’t say no. I said I would do the Will of Aloysius and walked out the door tugging Tony behind me.

Tony yelled at me most of the way home. He kept insisting I had screwed things up, again. I ignored him, except for that one time when he squeezed my arm hard as he could to get my attention. Tony’s need to cause me pain has gotten way out of hand. I shoved him aside, gave him the glare of death and the two-handed slap. I continued walking as I tried to figure out in my mind how this might become an advantage. If I could become close enough to Anna, I could rescue Joshua and his fellow gang members from the grasp of the Followers of Aloysius. I was thinking with every brain cell I had as we walked home. I didn’t even feel the cold.

Journal 128

I have my coat back. Seekers filled the rally. Anna and Joshua arrived wearing their royal robes about an hour after the beginning of the rally. Anna gave her speech and Joshua helped with the offering. The ceremony was lovely. I was very amazed at how many people wanted to join the Followers of Aloysius. It was a happy crowd and there was plenty of food. Tables lined the walls covered from end to end with food. I’m thinking most of the people joined the Followers of Aloysius for the food. Who could blame them? It was a very harsh winter and food was scarce. You can’t stop the grapevine once it gets started. I doubt there is one person that doesn’t know what the followers of Aloysius are offering. It’s a shame that the seekers didn’t realize that they were getting ready to give part of themselves to be a follower. The moment they drank the drugged offering their lives would no longer be the same.

I was hoping Kate would be at the rally, but she wasn’t there. Tony, I ran into Lynette and Travis. We snuck off into a back room, had another drink of Gin, and discussed things that were happening at the Spurs Fort. I only drank a little sip this time. Tony wasn’t happy I drank the sip, but Lynette said the ritual couldn’t be broken. Lynette told me that Anna was watching Kate. Anna had her guards search everyone’s room at the Spurs Fort trying to figure out who had infiltrated the compound. Anna and her guards questioned everyone. As far as Lynette and Travis knew, Anna didn’t find anything.

Journal 127

I swear I need to vent. As soon as our bodies thawed, Sheriff Pete wanted to know everything that happened at the Spurs Fort. We held a meeting in the kitchen with all the senior members of Bear Country. Lisa wasn’t home. She was out with Tyson somewhere. I don’t think it would have been appropriate for her to attend the meeting anyway. Lisa is a follower of Aloysius in every way conceivable. A couple of times I thought she had moved out of Bear Country, but she keeps coming back. I don’t know why. She really doesn’t associate with anyone in Bear Country anymore. I think Pete is still holding a torch for Lisa. He looks a little hurt every time she comes around.

I tried to tell everyone my version of what happened, but Tony kept interrupting me. His version of what happened at the Spurs Fort was more accurate. Tony is such a butthead. He acts as if I purposely screwed up the mission. A couple of times during the meeting I almost smacked him upside the head. It wasn’t my fault Anna kicked us out of the Spurs Fort without our jackets. What was I supposed to do? Say something like,” I’m sorry we left our coats up in Kate’s Room.” In my defense, I didn’t know the gin we drank was going to give me the giggles and what kind of lunatic cuts off perfectly beautiful long curly hair. Joshua looked very nice with short hair, but it was a shock when I saw his long hair cut off.

Journal 126

Anna welcomed us to the Followers of Aloysius. I don’t think she meant it. There was too much sarcasm in her voice. After the crowd jumped around joyously for a couple of minutes Anna had Tony and me escorted to another room. She placed two guards outside of our door. We were in deep doo-doo with nowhere to run.

I asked Tony if he felt funny in any way from the drink. He said no. He was feeling fine. I was also feeling fine. I think we were both feeling a bit confused. We paced around the room for 10 minutes before Anna arrived to see how we were doing. She wanted answers. The first thing Anna wanted to know was how we managed to get the white hoodies and gain entrance into the rally. I’m certain Anna knew someone had helped us get in, she just didn’t know who.

Not wanting to answer Anna’s questions Tony and I played the loyal Followers of Aloysius card. We both praised Aloysius. It seemed like the thing to do. Then we played semi dumb. I wasn’t sure if the drink was drugged or not but if it was, I wanted Anna to think that the drug worked. I told Anna (and Tony agreed) the will of Aloysius led us to the rally. I’m not sure if Anna believed our little act or not. She seemed a little discouraged when we wouldn’t tell her who gave us the hoodies. I kept repeating, “It was the will of Aloysius. Aloysius provided the hoodies.”

Anna stomped out of the room. Tony and I waited to see what would happen next. I was thinking we were going to spend our remaining days in a dungeon somewhere. A few minutes later, guards led us outside and tossed us out the front gate of the Spurs Fort. The guard gave us instructions on where and when to attend the next rally. Tony was peeved all the way home. Partly because it was my fault we were discovered by Anna and partly because we didn’t have our coats. By the time, we made it back to Bear Country I was a frozen Popsicle and Tony wasn’t speaking to me.

Journal 125

Tony and I tried to playthings cool. What else could we do? Anna was calm but I could tell she was irritated and not happy we were there. Anna introduced us to the crowd as seekers. It was the first time I had heard that word used. A seeker is someone who wishes to join the Followers of Aloysius. Joshua smiled and said he was glad to see us. He welcomed us to the Followers of Aloysius. Joshua gave me a hug and then Tony. I didn’t know what to do, should I play alone or run. I didn’t want to be a seeker. Tony kept glaring at me. He was already furious. If I screwed things up, he was going to kill me the first time we were alone.

Scattered throughout the crowd were Kate, Lynette, Travis, and Pepper. They couldn’t help us. They needed to remain hidden from Anna. Anna couldn’t know that they weren’t believers. Anna had Tony and I kneeled in front of the crowd. She gave a little speech about Aloysius, his good deeds, and the changes that would come. Aloysius wanted all to join his ranks. Aloysius would make the world a better place filled with love and peace. It all sounded good. There wasn’t any reason why someone wouldn’t believe me after that speech. Anna was an excellent speaker, very convincing. The evil amongst us are often good speakers.

The crowd split up in the middle of the room. Anna had a tray paraded to the front of the room. Joshua took the tray and removed the white drape. On top of the tray were two cups. Anna handed me a cup and then Tony. Joshua said, “Let the will of Aloysius be revealed.” I knew Anna had drugged the liquid. I looked at the cup, then at Tony and then at the cup. My fate was sealed. I looked at Anna. She knew I didn’t want to drink. Anna smiled and said all loyal followers must drink. We couldn’t do anything; Anna’s guards surrounded us. I drank expecting to feel weird. I was thinking to myself that the effects just took a little time to kick in. I glanced at Tony. He didn’t look odd anyway. If the drink affected him, I couldn’t tell. Then I had a brief thought that nothing was in the drink. It was just a drink.

Journal 124

I didn’t want Anna to recognize me. I pulled my hat down over my face. I kept sneaking quick peeks at Joshua. He looked different and I just couldn’t figure out why. It was bothering the heck out of me. It wasn’t the robes. It wasn’t the semi blank stare on his face. It wasn’t the missing cowboy hat. There was something else and then it hit me. Anna had cut Joshua’s long curly hair short. I blurted out the words “They cut his hair” louder than I should have. Everyone in the room looked my way. Tony said a few things under his breath that I’m not going to repeat, and he gave me the biggest pinch on the top of my hand.

We couldn’t run. The room was filled with people. The exits were on the other side of the room. I pulled my hat farther down over my face. I was hoping my outburst would only draw a moment’s attention and then forgotten. Unfortunately, Anna had recognized my voice. She said my name. I ignored her so she said my name again. Anna had her guards shuffle Tony and me to the front of the room.