The Journal of Madie Beartri

Journal 123

Usually when I dream it’s a bunch of random events mixed up into a complicated mess that makes absolutely no sense. I had the most disturbing dream last night. Before my parents died, before the virus I went to a lake with a group of friends from my school. I went after my parents told me I couldn’t go because it was too dangerous. (The year before a student was seriously injured. We ignored the off limits sign.) Swinging out on the rope and jumping into the water was a rite of passage. If you swung out far enough you would miss the branches and roots. I lied to my parents and went to the lake. We had a great day. No one was hurt. Our day was a success. So we thought.  We all jumped except for Sally. She couldn’t get up the nerve to swing out on the rope. Several of the kids started calling her chicken and four eyed freak and a few other hurtful names. She left crying. I forgot about her until the next day when the news said she was missing. The search for Sally lasted more than a week. A group of kids attempting to make the jump found her floating faces down in the lake. I never told my parents I had been to the lake and made the jump.

In my dream, it was the same situation only the person not wanting to jump was Runt (Victor). Large roots filled the lake. No sane person would jump. I kept trying to convince Victor that he didn’t have to jump. He finally jumped only in my dream when he made the jump we were standing on top of a building. I woke up before I saw Victor hit the ground.

Journal 122

I hate days like today, everyone crying and saying goodbye. It has been a very sad morning. Several gang members have left Bear Country to find a safer place to live away from the Black Cobras. I hate saying goodbye. I hate seeing my friends leave. Casey and Alexander have also decided to leave Bear Country. This makes my heart hurt. They will be leaving in a few days. Casey is giving me a little time to say goodbye to Aleece. Sometimes we all have to make hard decisions. I wish Casey didn’t have to make this one. Bear Country is her home. Little Aleece was born just down the hall. The Black Cobras have ruined a perfectly good community.

Sheriff Pete and Jonas spent the day in town making life difficult for the Black Cobras. Everything went well and they made it home safely. Things have not gone well for a couple of the other gangs. The Black Cobras have filled the jail and started retaliating against gangs caught interrupting the flow of Bliss into the community. A couple of people have been beaten and put on display.

Journal 121

I waited forever. I had almost convinced myself that I wasn’t going to get the information on where and when Hess was going to hold the meeting. I had to make excuses about a dozen times over the last couple of days on why I couldn’t leave Bear Country. About 3 am yesterday morning, I hear a knock on my door. A runner hands me a note with a destination and the word NOW! He is gone before I could say thank you or get more information.

I arrive at the destination printed on the note. Shortly after arriving guards blindfolded and took me somewhere else. It was an apartment, not on the first floor. I think we went up four flights of stairs. I lost count. It’s hard to climb stairs blindfolded. The apartment was black. Candles lit the room. I counted twenty people. Some of which I have never seen. There were several gang leaders from unexplored parts of town. When we arrived, our host told us not to talk to each other. I exchanged head nods with people I recognized. We mostly stared at each other. Hess walked into the room and said that what she had to say wasn’t up for debate. We could follow her battle plan or leave now and fight the Black Cobras on our own. I received a piece of paper with instruction. The instructions mapped out Bear Countries duties. Hess insisted we not share information with each other. After the meeting, I was blindfolded and returned to my original destinations.

Journal 120

I woke this morning to find a note slipped under my door. I almost didn’t see it. Lost was sleeping on top of it. The note simply said if I am interested in attending a meeting with Hess drop the blue monarch into the mail slot at 2318 Houghton Street. A tiny note at the bottom of the page said further information would be revealed later. I ventured out to drop my monarch into the mail slot and then went back home to Bear Country. I guess now it’s a waiting game. I have never been good at waiting. Someone should have told Hess that this sort of thing stresses me out. I haven’t told anyone about the note. I’m not sure if I should but I have been tempted. I desperately wanted to tell Tony when I saw him this morning.

I think Tony has given up on Runt (Victor). He didn’t even mention him once at breakfast.  When I asked Tony what he had planned for the day he simply said he was going to work on his project in the basement.

The Library Trio has been out of bed today. I passed by them as they were heading out the front door. Marty said they were going out to clean up the town by removing Bliss and Black Cobra trash posted everywhere. I cautioned them to be careful. The Black Cobras don’t have a sense of humor and they take it personally when you step on their tails. Gretchen and Cecilia promised me they would be careful. They wouldn’t let Marty take any unnecessary chances. I sure hope so.

 

Journal 119

Life in and around Bear Country continues to get more complicated. Life is spinning out of control and I don’t know how to stop the madness.

Tony is not in a good mood. He is terribly upset. Tony went to the far side of town to pick up some needed parts for his project in the basement. His journey took most of the day. On his way back to Bear Country, he stopped by the jail to check on Victor. When he arrived at the jail, he discovered the jail taken over by the Cobras. Victor was dressed as a Black Cobra and he refused to return to Bear Country.

Matt and Hemy dropped by Bear Country. They were not happy. There is no longer a straight walk from the Central Campus to Bear Country. Matt and Hemy had to take the long way around, across the park and thru the arroyo. Luckily, the arroyo was empty.

Hemy said several of the local businesses and smaller gangs on her end of Lafayette Blvd. are under the Black Cobras control including her favorite grocery store. The Cobras have even put up barriers blocking off access to several parts of town. The Black Cobras grant access if you are wearing the Black Cobra patch.

Something has to be done I am not going down without a fight.

Journal 118

I was so exhausted by the time I made it back to my room I couldn’t bring myself to write in my journal. It was an interesting day yesterday. Interesting is probably not the best word to use but now I can’t think of anything else. I woke up early so that I could attend the rally that I heard was going to happen. I was hoping to talk to Hess before things got too wild and crazy. I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I couldn’t find Hess. I saw several Blue Monarchs. I even spoke to a few of them but they weren’t giving up any information on how I could locate Hess. They kept saying she would be here. It was frustrating.

The Black Cobras are increasing in numbers and their hold on the people in town is increasing. Several buildings in town had signs on the doors announcing change of management. This is not a good thing. I was walking thru town and saw someone wearing a Black Cobra patch. At first, I thought allies were advertising their association with the Black Cobras, and then I noticed several people were wearing them. After a little research, I discovered that you have to have a patch to enter a building under Black Cobra management.

The rally did not go well. It turned violent quickly. A group of Black Cobra guards surrounded us and demanded we stop the rally. We objected and the fight began. Most people attending the rally did not bring weapons the Cobras were all armed. It wasn’t a fair fight. I have an enormous bruise on my left arm. Someone hit me with a stick. My arm is not broken but at first, I thought it was. I couldn’t fight after that. More Black Cobras arrived and their leader stopped the fight. The Cobra leader asked us to go home or they would take us into custody. We went home.

After the rally, I went to the jail to see Tony and Sheriff Pete. I was hoping they could help me with my arm. To my surprise, the Black Cobras took over the jail. I couldn’t find Tony. The Cobras locked Pete in one of the cells with a couple of his deputies. Victor was not in a cell but he seemed to be very comfortable talking to the new jailers. He has gone over to the other side. I asked for Pete’s release. They denied my request. I begged and pleaded and spent a couple of hours of kissing Black Cobra butt (i.e., making coffee, refilling cups, sweeping, taking out the garbage and washing windows) Pete was released from his jail cell. I wouldn’t normally have gone thru the trouble but Pete is a very valuable member of Bear Country.

Journal 116

After spending a little time at the jail with Tony and Victor, I walked out to the Spurs Fort to see Joshua. From our conversation yesterday, I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to talk to the gang leaders alone and arrange for a gang meeting or if he wanted to go along.

Joshua was out branding cattle and enjoying it. I think the boys and a couple of girls were having a little roping competition. Seems somewhat cruel to me but Joshua said that branding was the only way he could be sure people knew that the cattle belonged to the Spurs. He must have been having a busy morning. Dirt and sweat covered Joshua. I don’t think I have ever seen him that dirty and he smelled like a cow.  Stinky, Stinky, Stinky. In addition, he couldn’t just say “hi”, he had to hug me …ick!

I felt bad about taking Joshua away from his fun and games. He didn’t seem to mind too much but I apologized for the interruption in his play. His day probably would have been more enjoyable if he had stayed home. We went from gang leader to gang leader with the exception of a couple of gangs no one wanted to hear our cause. It was a waste of a perfectly good afternoon.

On our way back to the Spurs Fort, Joshua and I walked by the Black Cobras gang building. There was a long line of people waiting for their daily dose. None of them looked very healthy. A few people were asleep in the gutters. Black Cobras were using sticks to encourage those unable to get up off the ground to leave. A few people had to be carted away in wheel barrels. Today would have been a good day to show Victor what this drug is doing to people. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

Journal 115

Runt (Victor) sits in jail. He isn’t talking to anyone especially not Tony. I dropped by to bring him some breakfast this morning. The boy is stubborn. He wouldn’t even look at me. He just stared at the corner, pretended I wasn’t there.  His dinner from last night was still untouched. I feel sorry for him but I can’t help think that Tony is only doing what he thinks is best.

The Bear Country grape vine is one of the quickest ways to pass information from one person to another. The jail was actually a busy place today. Victor can’t complain about not getting visitors. I imagine just about everyone in Bear Country knows he is in lockup. Several of the younger children stopped by. Sheriff Pete had his deputies frisk everyone to make sure they didn’t have any “Bliss” on them.

The Library Trio, Marty, Gretchen, and Cecelia stopped by. They offered to discuss peer pressure and the downfalls of using drugs with Victor but he wasn’t interested. Marty said they had thought about bringing a few books on the subject but then it occurred to the three of them that Victor doesn’t know how to read.  I think the not knowing how to read comment hit a nerve with Victor because he tossed his glass of water at the bars drenching the three of them. Cecelia and Gretchen offered a few words of encouragement and said that they would be back in a few days to check on his progress.

Joshua from the Spurs gang also stopped by the jail. He was actually at the jail to see me and not Victor.  Joshua wanted to know if I had thought of any solutions on how to get rid of the “bliss” troubles in town. I told him I had no idea about what to do about the problem but if he had any solutions I would gladly listen. He had no solutions but suggested that we call another gang meeting.  I don’t think it would help but I said I would make the arrangements. I hope he doesn’t expect a big turn out because I don’t think we are going to get one.

Journal 114

There is drama and more drama. I guess it was too much to ask to have two peaceful no eventful days in a row.  I was in my room in the admin hallway, sitting at my desk, staring out the window, watching the squirrels when I heard yelling and people running down the hall. Victor tackled me the moment I stepped out in the hall. I don’t think he was expecting me to step into his path. The both of us land on the floor. Victor starts yelling at me to get off and let go. I’m trying to get up as Tony grabs Victor by the collar.  Victor struggles and tries to pull away from Tony. Sheriff Pete arrives on the scene to help Tony apprehend Victor.

I’m not sure when parental responsibility ends and when you just have to raise your hands in the air and say I give up.  Get out, go your own way, make your mistakes. Tony is troubled because he doesn’t know what to do. I don’t have any answers. I’m not sure what I would do in the same situation. Tony wants to save Victor from “Bliss”. Victor doesn’t want to be saved.

Tony and Pete locked Victor up in the jail temporarily for his own safety. It was a struggle to get the boy there. For a little kid he has considerable strength in his arms and legs. I think Tony plans to leave Victor in jail until the boy comes to his senses. From the attitude, I saw today, I don’t think Victor is coming around to Tony’s way of thinking any time soon.