The Journal of Madie Beartri

Journal 34

I went out looking for can goods this morning. I really wanted that shirt from Shanna’s Scraps to Clothes Boutique. I couldn’t find anyone to trade with me. All I had to trade was a battery, a box of crayons and a couple of antique hair clips I found in an abandoned apartment.

No one was interested in any of my stuff, so I borrowed a couple of cans from the food stores at Bear Country. Shanna was happy to receive the apple pie filling and the sweet, condensed milk. I will replace it later. No one really cooks anything around Bear Country anyway.

I put on my new shirt and walked out to Hyatt’s arcade. I asked Tony if he wanted to go with me but as usual, he was too busy for me. The Hyatt’s place is nice. I was amazed at how many people were hanging out there. Hyatt acquired a new pool table and several cases of slow gin, bourbon, sake, and vodka. I only had two drinks because most of that stuff tastes like rubbing alcohol smells.

I swear I have no idea how people drink that stuff all the time. The two glasses I drank made my head spin and gave me an awful stomachache. I had a fun time playing pool. I’m going to go back tomorrow. The person I was playing with said he would give me a couple of lessons to help improve my game. I can’t remember his name. I am hoping Hyatt knows because I don’t want to look like a fool tomorrow.

Journal 33

I went out exploring around Bear Country today. I don’t know why I went out except that there really wasn’t anything else to do. It is still necessary to cover up and wear goggles. The soot in the air kills my eyes. I’m thinking it probably isn’t very good for my lungs either.

There is more drama in Bear Country. While I was exploring a group of kids carrying banners were out parading around chanting that the world is ending unless everyone follows the will of Aloysius. Aloysius is the answer to all our troubles. There is always someone out there ready to exploit a situation and claim to have the answers. This really annoys me. Are we so desperate for guidance that we will believe anyone who claims to have an answer to our problems?

A few people have reopened their Kiosks. This is reassuring. People have started to try to put life back the way it was before the meteors and the earthquakes. I ran into Hyatt today as I was browsing through the goods at Shanna’s Scraps to Clothes Boutique.

Shanna is so talented. I love her designs. I asked her to put back a shirt for me until I could come up with the can goods to pay for it. Shanna agreed to hold it for a few days but only a few days. I guess that tomorrow I will be out searching for canned goods. Hyatt invited me to his arcade. I told him I would try to drop by tomorrow if I had the time. It was good to see him.

Journal 32

My fingertips are visible when my arm is stretched-out. It’s amazing. I was beginning to think soot would forever cover the world and the world would forever more smell like smoke. I went up to the roof this morning and looked out over Bear Country. There is more damage to the surrounding area than I had imagined. The meteors destroyed and reduced to rubble several of the buildings within sight of Bear Country. Unfortunately, through the haze you can still see a couple of fires burning in the distance.

I wrapped myself up like a mummy, put on goggles and walked out to the Spurs Fort. I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to know if Joshua and his gang were safe. I wish I could tell you that everything was fine, but it wasn’t. The meteors caused an enormous amount of damage.

It was a sad site to see. There were dead cattle everywhere. Fire destroyed several of the bunkhouses. Luckily, the main house had minimal damage. I knocked on the front door of the main house. The guard wouldn’t let me. He thought I was a beggar looking for food. He told me to go away, or he would set his dog on me. I took my goggles off and told the guard my name. He didn’t believe me.

My nose is still sore from having the door slammed in my face. I knocked again. This time when the door opened a dog jumped out at me. It was Lost. She jumped right at my chest and knocked me to the ground. Joshua steps out of the bunkhouse and points his gun at me. He was a little disappointed Lost didn’t try to eat me.

You should have seen the expression on Joshua’s face when he realized it was his friend Madie lying there on the ground. We had a good laugh and a long talk. I told him my story and he updated me with the latest news around Bear Country.

Journal 31

Sleep is a good thing unless you spend the night having nightmares. I must be feeling guilty because last night I dreamt about Yates and his son all night long. I fought and chased Yates around the world the entire night. The places were familiar but all wrong. We crossed bridges, climbed walls, swam oceans, and fought evil gang midgets. Yates was being unreasonable. He wouldn’t stop moving and listen to what I had to say. I couldn’t seem to get my point across that he shouldn’t leave his son all alone at Ft Shasta. The dream ended when we came to an electric fence that reached up to the sky. There were adults on the other side. They were pointing and laughing at us. We were in a Zoo. Yates crumbled into dust before my eyes. I started to scream “Let me out,” “Let me out.” That’s when Tony woke me up to see if I wanted breakfast.

Every muscle in my body is sore. I must have been tensing muscles in my dream (nightmare). There have been stories and rumors that the virus didn’t kill off all the adults. If you travel far enough you can find them. Occasionally you will come across someone who knew someone, who knew someone, who ran into an actual adult somewhere. I think people are retelling the same story repeatedly to entertain the little ones and give hope to the older ones.

Journal 30

I was able to move back into my old room in the admin hallway. It was vacant. I was expecting to find a new room. Things were exactly how I left them except for the pink fluffy journal left on my desk. I guess I won’t go searching for a new one. A few more pages and I can switch over to the new journal.

It’s going to be a little odd carrying around a bright pink journal. I am grateful to the person that left this journal in my room. In the front inside cover, someone wrote “For Madie, my friend.”  The whole thing is a little strange. I asked Pete if he knew who left the journal. He didn’t know. Pete said he didn’t think anyone had been in my room since the day I left for Ft Shasta with Yates.

Tony is acting a little strange. He has spent most of the day down in the basement in his old room. I asked him if he was going to move upstairs and share my room. He looked at me strangely and said he had a few things to put in order in the basement. I didn’t ask for an explanation I just left the basement. I am not sure, but I think Tony rejected me. I swear I will never understand men.

Journal 29

Bear Country is not as vacant as I previously thought. The library trio is still maintaining the media center. The girls look well and healthy. Both of their tummies are obviously now pregnant. Marty sees after their every need. He treats Gretchen and Cecelia as if they were made of glass. The Runt and Jonas were out looking for food and needed supplies. They returned a short while ago. Arms full of supplies. I asked Jonas about his brother Matt. He said Matt and Hemy are fine. They are still living in Central but will be moving to Bear Country in a couple of days. Central received a lot of damage during the meteor showers and the earthquakes. Their gym and part of the second floor collapsed. Lisa is also around but she has been spending most of her time at her boyfriend’s apartment. Pete said he doesn’t like him because he is rude and thinks he is better than everyone else is.

I asked Pete about Joshua and the Spurs gang. He said as far as he knew they are doing fine. Pete hadn’t had much of a chance to walk out there since I left. If I weren’t so tired and hungry, I would walk out there today. Joshua will have to wait until tomorrow.

Journal 28

The walk-up Lafayette Blvd was eerie. It was deserted. Not even a dog or cat rummaging through garbage. No one had been on the streets for at least a dozen blocks. In the back of my mind, I had this fear that Bear Country would be nothing but rubble, our friends would be gone, and Tony and I would be homeless.

I wanted to cry the moment I saw Bear Country High School still standing. I was home. I stood on the street and prayed someone would be inside. I hoped my friends would see pass the hopelessness of the situation. Ignore the desolation and destruction of the surrounding area and stay in Bear Country. I don’t know why I was wishing this. If my friends had remained in Bear Country this would mean they were as insane as I am. I must have been standing there, staring at the school for a long time because Tony asked me if I was going to continue standing on the street or if I was going to come inside.

I started yelling for people the moment we entered the front doors. Tony ran toward the bathrooms. The halls were strangely quiet. I ran up and down all the hallways. I had given up hope that no one was around when Pete walked out of his room in the admin hallway. He was surprised to see me. We hugged.

Journal 27

I feel as if Tony and I are walking straight into hell. The earthquakes and the meteors must have hit the area around Bear Country hard. The closer we get to Bear Country the thicker the smoke is in the air. Destruction is everywhere. The earthquakes and meteors have reduced many buildings to rubble. Others look as if they are going to fall at any moment.

My lungs hurt and my eyes hurt. I had to rip my shirt to use a strip of fabric as a mask. The constant breathing in of smoke makes breathing difficult. Soot covers my body. Tony looks horrible. I can only imagine how I look. We both could use a shower. Tony and I passed many people on the road walking away from Bear Country. The highway leading away from town looks like a refugee migration and we are going in the wrong direction.

A few people have cautioned us about turning around. We continue our journey despite what we see. Bear Country is only a couple hours away if we keep up the pace. Tony is still not feeling well. He must take numerous breaks to recuperate and go to the bathroom. I am not feeling well but my symptoms are mild and tolerable. I pray my other friends are safe and that Bear Country High School is still standing.

Journal 26

I am getting to the end of this journal. I only have a few pages left. I will have to be conservative with the pages. I will need to find a new journal soon. The last time I finished my journal it was a challenge to find a new one to write in. I had to search for weeks and when I did find one, it was expensive. It cost me a piece of my past. I had to give up the necklace my mom gave me when I turned twelve. Truly, I only regretted giving my necklace up for a moment. I needed to write. I think writing my thoughts down helps me keep my sanity. Sometimes writing is more important than eating.

Our journey back home to Bear Country led Tony and me through a farming community. It was dark and we didn’t mean any harm. We came across a barn and decided to rest for the night. The Gang living on the farm didn’t appreciate our trespassing on their land. I think they thought we were thieves. We tried to explain that we only wanted to rest for the night, but they chased us off with pitchforks.