The Journal of Madie Beartri

Journal 63

I am trying not to overstay my welcome. I need to go home to Bear Country, but I am not in the mood. Today has been a good day. It has been a peaceful and restful day. The weather has been wonderful. There was a cool breeze blowing most of the day. I think autumn is finally on its way.

I think I have developed a fondness for this porch and this rocking chair. I have done nothing all day but sit in this chair. For a little while, I wandered around and watched Joshua do his chores. Joshua spent most of the morning trying to break a horse that didn’t like to wear a saddle. The horse didn’t appreciate anyone sitting in that saddle either. After lunch, Joshua and I sat on the porch and played cards. I beat him in three out of four games of war. I asked Joshua if he minded if I stayed around until after dinner. He said I could stay as long as I wanted. He enjoyed my company. I hope I am not making a nuisance of myself.

Journal 62

I slept well, no nightmares. In fact, I don’t think I dreamt at all last night. I curled up on the cot and the next thing I knew I was awake and feeling great. Some people are early risers. Joshua is always one of the first people awake at the Spurs Fort. I think it is part of his job to be one of the first people to start their day. I was awake before Joshua today. I am proud of this fact.

I was outside sitting in a rocking chair, talking to a couple of guards when Joshua stepped out onto the porch wearing nothing but his jeans and an untucked shirt. He wore no boots, no hat, and no guns. I don’t think I have ever seen him look so ordinary and human. He always looked bigger than life to me. It felt great to say, “Good morning, Sunshine.” Joshua nearly fell off the porch. He wasn’t expecting me to be awake until later in the day. Joshua said, “Good morning,” tried to tip his nonexistent hat and then excused himself back inside. He came back out to the porch a few minutes later dressed in his hat, boots, and gun. I liked him the other way.

Breakfast was great. We had eggs, grits, toast, and bad coffee!

Journal 61

After the first square dance, Joshua asked me to join him in another. I was getting ready to turn him down when Shanice started waving at me. I could not spend an entire evening listening to that girl talk. I accepted Joshua’s hand and spun around the floor again. Joshua and I danced and danced and danced. I learned the two steps, the waltz, and the western swing. We danced until I couldn’t stand up anymore. My foot is still recovering from the toe infection. I need to wear better shoes next time I decide to dance a night away.

Matt and Hemy left late in the evening. They offered to walk me home. I didn’t want to spoil their romantic walk home, so I declined their offer. I also didn’t want to feel like a third wheel like earlier in the evening. I have no idea when Jonas and Shanice left. They must have left when Joshua and I were still dancing. Tony never made it to the party. I guess that shouldn’t be a surprise. Often wrapped up in whatever he is doing, he forgets about the time. I hate it when he forgets about me.

Joshua and I spent the rest of the evening outside sitting under a tree. We talked about life and our plans. Joshua would like to be a successful rancher. He wants to see his gang grow and become a strong influence on society.

I like talking to Joshua. Our conversations are always interesting, and he is always interested in what I have to say.

As Joshua and I sat under the tree, we watched everyone slowly trickle out of the Fort and go home. The followers of Aloysius were having a meeting in the distance. We could see their fires and faintly hear the songs they were singing. It was actually very beautiful. I think I could have sat under that tree forever. Instead of walking home, I decided to stay here at the Spurs Fort. Joshua promises a real nice breakfast in the morning.

Journal 60

Tony was busy so I walked out to the Spurs Fort with Jonas, Matt and Hemy. Halfway to the Spur’s Fort, we stop to pick up Jonas’s new girlfriend Shanice. Shanice is short, cute and has an enormous chest, which is why Jonas is attracted to her. I doubt it’s her stimulating conversation. Shanice talked from the moment we picked her up from her apartment until we reached the Spur’s Fort.

I have never seen someone talk so much and say absolutely nothing relevant in my entire life. I don’t even think she finished a couple of sentences before changing topics. I suppose the walk wouldn’t have been so bad, but Shanice had the voice of a three-year-old. I tried to ignore her, but she directed most of her conversation toward me. I was trying not to be rude, but it was difficult.

At one point, I moved to the other side of the road next to Matt and Hemy. I even tried to start a conversation with Hemy in hopes that Shanice would be quiet for a minute. I was hoping Shanice would get the message and talk to Jonas for a while. Unfortunately, Shanice drags Jonas to my side of the road and continues talking.

The party was already in progress when we reached the Spurs Fort. Joshua met us at the front door. A band was playing, and people were dancing. People were square dancing. Square dancing has never been my favorite dance, but it was my only escape from Shanice. I accepted Joshua’s hand and joined him in the dance.

Journal 59

I have been in my room most of the day. I can’t seem to shake the feeling that after Tony, Pete and I left Hyatt’s Arcade something awful happened. I had another night of nightmares. I woke up in a sweat and drenched to the bone. I dreamt Tony was Aloysius. The dream felt so real. I was so scared that I sat on my bed and cried for an hour. I wanted to go down to the basement to Tony’s room, but I was afraid the dream was real. I think I was afraid Tony was really Aloysius.

I am not a good friend. Joshua stopped by to see me today. I haven’t seen him in days and days. He said the all the cattle killed by the meteors and earthquakes are finally destroyed. I feel bad; I didn’t think of my friends and help with the cleanup. Joshua’s herd has dwindled down to only about 2 dozen cattle.

Joshua invited me to a party tomorrow. He said his gang needs a little diversion. I accepted the invitation. I apologized to Joshua for being so self-absorbed with my own life that I didn’t come to his aid and lend a helping hand.

Journal 58

I went to the plaza with Victor and Hemy today. Victor abandoned us as soon as he spotted a couple of friends. He went to play ball. I think the boy is having a growth spurt. He doesn’t look so little anymore. He is as tall as I am.

Hemy and I were out wasting time. There was nothing to do in Bear Country. Matt was out spending time with his brother Jonas. Tony and Pete were trying to fix the water issue. There was no water flowing in the bathrooms this morning. The toilets won’t flush. Sheriff Pete put signs up in all the bathrooms threatening bodily harm if anyone does number two in the toilets. I hate not being able to shower. I hope Pete and Tony can get the water flowing because I don’t want to go back to having to dig a hole outside to go poop.

I think I figured out where Tony got his white pajama pants. The followers of Aloysius were having a rally in the park today. About a dozen people were wearing the same pants Tony was wearing the other day. Lisa and Tyson were both at the rally. I think they have joined the followers of Aloysius. Lisa was handing out little gift bags of mints to the crowd. Tyson was following Lisa around carrying a large basket of gift bags.

I was going to go and say Hi to Lisa, but Hemy was afraid Tyson would make a fuss. Hemy suggested we give Lisa a little space. Lisa hasn’t moved out of Bear Country which means she will probably come back home eventually. I’m not sure if hanging out with the followers of Aloysius is a good thing but Lisa was smiling.

Journal 57

I had another nightmare last night. I woke up about 2:30 am and climbed into bed with Tony. In my dream, I’m tied to a pole in the center of a large room. The room is pitch-black. I can’t see anything. I know people are there because I can hear them. Everyone is chanting. I can’t move. I’m cold. I wake up the moment I realize I am naked.

I sat in the seats of the theater with Sheriff Pete and Tony most of the afternoon. We drank coffee and ate a box of oatmeal cookies. We tried to piece together what happened after we left Hyatt’s arcade. I think it was just me trying to figure out what happened. Pete and Tony didn’t seem to care. They were more interested in the cookies. I have a nagging feeling that something bad happened.

Sheriff Pete said I worry too much. He thinks we just had too much to drink.

Tony isn’t upset about not remembering what happened to the three of us after we left Hyatt’s arcade. Tony isn’t even upset about being found in the park, passed out, drooling and smelling like vomit. Tony is upset about losing his favorite pair of jeans and being found in a pair of white pajama pants. I feel sorry for the person found wearing his pants.

Journal 56

As soon as we were able, Pete and I went looking for Tony. We split up into different directions. I looked everywhere. Inside Bear Country, outside Bear Country and all the way to Hyatt’s Arcade. I had almost given up hope of finding Tony. It was as if he fell off the edge of the Earth.

I was on my way home to Bear Country to get some help when I decided to cut through the park. I accidentally stumbled across Tony sleeping under a tree. He was half-naked wearing nothing but white pajama pants. I tried to shake him a wake. I slapped his face a couple of times. He just laid there snoring with drool running down the side of his face. I found a child’s bucket. Filled the bucket with water and poured it on top of Tony’s head. He woke up… and puked the moment his head came off the ground. Tony smelled like a winery mixed with vomit. Tony has no idea where he got the white pair of pajama pants.

It is a little scary not knowing where you have been. I hope I didn’t do anything I am going to regret later. The last thing I remember is playing pool at Hyatt’s Arcade. I remember asking for another drink and then waking up in my room after that horrible dream. Tony and Pete remember leaving the bar after ordering a drink to go. Neither of us remembers what happened after that moment.

Journal 55

I had an awful dream. I dreamt the followers were sacrificing me to Aloysius. In the dream I was naked, lying on an altar somewhere in the middle of the forest. The moon was full and high in the sky. A fog covered the ground. The followers of Aloysius surrounded me. They started pouring bottles of wine all over me to purify my soul. I had to go pee so bad. I kept asking if I could take a break to go to the bathroom, but no one would let me off the dang alter. I urinated all over their sacred altar. Unfortunately, that is when I woke up to a warm wet feeling. I am never going to get that smell out of my mattress.

I spent another evening at Hyatt’s Arcade with Pete and Tony. I think I need to stay away from the liquor. I am positive I drank one too many mixed drinks. I don’t even know what I was drinking. I really don’t like the stuff but after the first or second drink, it actually starts to taste decent.

I am not sure how I got back to Bear Country or when I came back. I must have returned with Pete because he is asleep on my rug, curled up like a puppy. I tried to wake Pete but every time I lean over my head starts to spin. Pete must have had more to drink than I did. Where is Tony?

Journal 54

I went to Hyatt’s arcade with Pete, Tony, and Jonas. We were having an enjoyable time until Tyson and Lisa appeared on the scene. I think I saw them first. Pete had his back to the door. He was bent over the pool table preparing for a shot. I stepped on Tony’s foot to get his attention. He let out an unexpected OUCH! Therefore, I elbowed him in the ribs and gestured for him to look toward Tyson and Lisa’s location. Pete thought we were teasing each other and asked us to keep the ruckus down so that he could make his shot. Tyson and Lisa didn’t acknowledge our presence. I don’t know if they saw us or not. Tyson was practically eating in Lisa’s face. They went into the back room where the pinball machines and dartboards were.

To try to avoid conflict I suggested we go somewhere else and party. I suggested a new bar that had opened a couple of streets over. I had heard it had a sound system and dance floor. Tony and Jonas were willing to go. Pete didn’t want to leave. He wanted to keep playing pool. We spent the next two hours trying to keep Pete from seeing Lisa or Tyson as they came out of the back room to buy more drinks.

There was one moment when I thought our efforts had failed. Pete went to the bathroom and a couple moments later Tyson walked into the bathroom. I was holding my breath expecting a fight. They didn’t see each other because a few moments later Pete walked out again.