The Journal of Madie Beartri

Journal 13

Tony and I were out of bed early this morning. I have been sleeping so well. I think it is the constant fresh air. Tony was getting ready to go hunting with the men when Palesa stopped him in his tracks and said that she had a different chore for the both of us today. Tony was a little disappointed, but he didn’t argue. I think Palesa is trying to match make. She thinks she is being sneaky, but she isn’t. Palesa sent Tony and me grocery shopping today to collect berries, mushrooms, wild onions, and hickory nuts. It was our chore for the day, and I enjoyed it. Palesa drew a couple of nice pictures to show us what we were looking for. It was a fun adventure if you don’t include the invasion of ants that attacked Tony while he was up one of the trees and the large spider that climbed up my arm while I was picking berries.

You should have seen Tony climb the trees. At first, I was thinking we were going to return to the village without the nuts but after a few tries Tony made it up into the trees. Palesa told us not to collect the nuts off the ground (she made sure we understood this point) because they were usually rotten and often contain more insects than the nuts still on the trees. The berries were simple to collect and Palesa said if we picked only the mushroom, she had drawn we wouldn’t pick anything deadly. She suggested we didn’t sample any until we returned to the village just to be safe. It has been a very good day.

Journal 12

It has been a fun day. The longer I am here the more I think this is the perfect place to live. I was sitting on a log near the creek thinking about life when Palesa came up behind me and wanted to know if I wanted to see a wedding ceremony. Oh, course my answer was yes.

The Sequoia gang has an interesting way of finalizing wedding vows. The ceremony was quite beautiful. The bride and the groom were lovely and looked so happy. Like our wedding ceremonies back at Bear Country, there were lit candles, a lovely speech, and songs about love and blessings. Everyone gave the happy couple a blessing of happiness, even the smaller children. At the end of the ceremony, the couple stripped naked, jumped into the waterfalls, and bathed each other as everyone cheered them on. It was very sweet and a unique experience to watch.

After the ceremony, Palesa asked me about the ceremony Tony, and I had. She was simply curious about how my world handled weddings. I had to tell her that Tony and I aren’t married. He is my friend. A couple of times he has been more than my friend. We have a bond to each other, but we aren’t married. Palesa was a little surprised. She said the way we act toward each other she just assumed we had made a lifetime commitment.

Someday Tony and I will make a lifetime commitment to each other but for now, I am still hurting over the death of Yates. Tony has made it clear that he loves me, but he understands that I need a little time.

Journal 11

I am enjoying my stay. I think I could stay here forever. The Sequoia’s have a simple life, but it is a good life. Everyone shares everything. Everyone has chores. No one fights. The small children run around, play and act as if they don’t have a care in the world.

Palesa is an inspiration. She has so much energy and a good heart. I watched her mend hurt feelings when one of the smaller children couldn’t keep up in a game of keep away. All the children go to school. Palesa said that everyone learns to read. Story time is one of the highlights of the day for the younger children.

Tony is enjoying his hunting trips with the men and has been helping Xu with the mending of shelters. I think he is enjoying his time here also. I love the evenings out here. The stars are so bright.

Last night we saw a meteor shower that lasted more than an hour. One of the smallest children brought the meteors to our attention. It was so cool.

The children all giggled in delight every time they saw a bright light fly across the sky. Tony and I also enjoyed the show. When sent the smaller children to bed after we were certain the show was completed. The evening hours are so peaceful.

Journal 10

Tony and I have decided to stay a couple of days with the Sequoias. Their leader Xu has graciously invited us to spend as much time as we wanted here provided with help with the chores. Tony is out hunting with the boys. Xu’s wife Palesa gave him a grocery list of things to bring back for dinner. Palesa was very insistent that Xu find everything that was on the list.

I have been sitting around most of the day. I did help prepare breakfast and wash the dishes. This gang has a large number of toddlers and smaller children. I am amazed their infant survival rate is so high. A large majority of the women here look as if they are pregnant and couple of them look as if they were about to give birth any day now.

Xu’s wife Palesa already has two children, and it looks as if she is going to have another. I like Palesa she has a sense of humor and an incredibly cheerful disposition. I asked Palesa if it is hard raising her children out here in the wilderness. Palesa assured me that it was quite simple. This is amazing because I have seen at least a dozen girls have babies back home since the virus and only two of them delivered babies that survived more than a week. Aleece is one of those babies. I hope Aleece and her mom Casey are safe and happy somewhere. Aleece must be getting very big by now. I wonder if she is crawling yet.

Journal 9

Tony and I are taking our time returning to Bear Country. By now, Bear Country would have elected a new leader. I hope it was Sheriff Pete. All the soldiers that survived the ambush headed back towards Ft Shasta. Their walk was going to be a long one. I wished them luck in their journey and asked them to be safe. I again apologized for the trouble I caused.

Tony and I didn’t travel very far yesterday or today. We stayed in a hunter’s cabin last night. It was filthy but it was better than sleeping out in the open on the hard ground. I have had enough sleeping on the ground to last a lifetime. The cabin was near a stream. Tony accidentally scooped a fish out with his hands. He spent the next hour in the ice-cold freezing water trying to catch another one and never came close. The one fish barely gave each of us three mouths full, but it was good.

Today we went exploring. I don’t think we covered more than a couple of miles. Tony and I stumbled across a gang of naturalists called the Sequoia. Relax, they were friendly. Their gang leader offered us a place to stay for the night. Tony is out bathing in the creek with the men. I plan to go with the women as soon as he gets back.

Journal 8

It would have been a painful way to die. It wasn’t a straight drop to the bottom. Tony and I would have hit every rock, boulder, and tree stump on the way down. Then we would have lingered alive for a couple of hours before finally succumbing to blood loss. I didn’t want to die that way.

I backed off the edge of the cliff and fell into Tony’s arms. There was clapping and whistling from the soldiers. I didn’t realize they were all standing there. I apologized to Tony for everything I had said a few moments before. Tony kissed me on the head and thanked me for not jumping. Tony and the four soldiers that had survived the ambush led us around the woods for more than an hour trying to find the graves of Yates and the other soldiers they were able to bury. I wanted to say goodbye.

We had almost given up looking for the graves when one of the soldiers accidentally stumbled upon the gravesite during a moment of rest. We held a small goodbye ceremony in the woods for Yates and the other fallen soldiers. Each of the graves was marked with a cross of twigs. The nametag from the soldier’s uniform was pushed into the bark.

I found Yates and said my goodbyes. I apologized for getting him into this trouble. Tony knelt beside me and whispered in my ear that none of this was my fault. I didn’t put General Yates into this grave. I wish I could believe that. There is a small boy at Ft Shasta who is now without a father.

Journal 7

I couldn’t take another step. I was thirsty and weak from hunger. After a moment’s rest and drinking all the water in Tony’s canteen, I asked about Yates and the other soldiers. Tony looked at me and shook his head from side to side. He said Yates struggled to survive for a couple of days. Many of Yates’ soldiers died from injuries they had received the day of the ambush. I refused to accept what Tony was saying. I started making plans to find Yates and the others. Tony grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me a shake. He said there weren’t any others. I said there had to be others. We were in a convoy of four trucks with at least 30 people. We had guns. General Yates would not have gone down without a fight.

I pulled away from Tony. I called him a liar and said a few awful things I now regret. I knew Tony had to be lying. He was jealous so I chose Yates over him, and I told him so. I stomped off into the woods. I don’t know where I was going but Tony followed. I stopped at the edge of a cliff.

For a moment, I considered jumping. Tony asked me not to jump. He said he had something important to say to me. If I still wanted to jump after he had finished, he would jump with me. Tony said he loved me and that he only let me go with Yates because he wanted me to have a happy and safe life. The morning the convoy left Bear Country Tony realized he had made a mistake in allowing me to leave.

Tony borrowed a horse from Joshua of the Spurs. He caught up to the convoy shortly after the attack. Yates and several of his soldiers were left for dead. I was nowhere to be found.

Journal 6

He had to straddle my entire body to keep me from struggling free. I continued to struggle until I saw his face. At first, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. I closed my eyes very tight and counted to three. When I opened my eyes again, he was still there hovering over me with his hand over my mouth. Without saying a word, Tony mouthed for me to be quiet. I hugged his neck and did as I was told.

Four of Yates’ soldiers accompanied Tony. Tony woke the other soldiers enslaved with me one at a time. The other captives sleeping in the area were also given the chance to escape. Only a handful chose to do so. The others were unable to comprehend what was happening. They just turned over and went back to sleep. The guards watching over us were tranquilized by the same darts used to capture us. They would be asleep well into the morning hours. I kicked them both in the side as I stepped over them. It was the least I could do for the hellish way they treated us. I am hoping this security breach gets them into a heap of trouble. With any luck, they will end up as slaves themselves.

The escape out of the camp was easy. There was only one moment when I thought we weren’t going to escape. We almost stumbled into a guard patrol but luckily, they weren’t paying much attention to their surroundings. They seemed more interested in the slave they were teasing. No one said a word until we were clearly away from the camp.

Journal 5

Like the day before and the day before I spent my day digging up rocks, washing rocks and building a wall. Yates’ soldiers did the same. We tried to communicate with each other when the guards weren’t looking. It was a challenge. If caught by the guards, it would have meant a beating. I watched the guards dish out punishment without cause time after time. The guards seemed particularly cruel to a couple of slaves that could do nothing right. I felt sorry for them. I wanted to help but I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I watched the other slaves go about their work as if nothing cruel was happening around them. No one flinched. The most common reaction was to move carefully out of the way without drawing attention from the guards. I think it’s a coping mechanism put into place after weeks and months of trying to avoid punishment. I found myself doing it.

At the end of the day, after the guards had finally decided we had done enough work they led us back to our place of sleep. They gave us the same stale biscuits and a drink of water. I tucked myself up against the wall beside a couple of Yates’ soldiers. The wall was one of the safer places to sleep. The guards harassed anyone sleeping near the fire. I don’t remember falling asleep. I woke up ready to fight the moment I felt his hand grab my mouth.

Journal 4

I spent the day digging up rocks and daydreaming about my life before the virus. I think it helped to take myself away from this hellhole even though it was just in my mind. I miss my parents and my bed. Please let this whole thing be a dream. At any moment, my mom is going to walk into my room and tell me to wake up and get ready for school. I will suddenly realize this life was just an awful nightmare brought on by bad pizza. I am going to hug my mom and apologize for everything I have done wrong in the past.

I think I actually slept for a little while last night. I propped myself up against the wall and before I knew it the guards were rudely yelling at us to wake up. I refuse to believe this is the way I am supposed to spend the rest of my life.

Today was a special day. All the slaves assembled in front of the gang leader. I am not certain what he looked like because the guards didn’t allow us to raise our heads. He gave a lovely speech and praised us for our hard work. If thoughts could kill, I would spread his brains all over the rock pile. The guards brought out a wheelbarrow of food. They gave each slave a few seconds to grab something edible to eat. I am so glad I wasn’t at the end of the line.