Journal 92

It’s 2:00am and I can’t sleep. Tony is asleep on the couch. Too bad I don’t have a camera because he is adorable lying there. I cleared my room of everything that belonged to Aleece. Casey moved back into her room down the hall. I should be grateful that they are close and not far away. Casey has generously said that I could watch and play with Aleece whenever I wanted. I should be thankful she is allowing me to see Aleece at all. If Casey had behaved the way, I acted. I would be holding a long time grudge.  I don’t think I will offer to watch Aleece for a while. I need a clean break from being her mom but I plan to keep my eyes on the both of them for a while. With the exception of saying goodbye to my parents when they died, giving Aleece back to her mother was the hardest thing I have ever done.

Tony has been such a good friend. He spent the entire evening in my room. I owe him a couple of new shirts. I haven’t cried this much since the virus took my parents. I asked Tony to give me a baby. He declined. I asked why not and he said he had already been down that road before and it didn’t have a happy conclusion.  I didn’t know. Tony arrived at Bear Country long after we had already established our gang.

After the virus Tony and his girlfriend Amanda, a cheerleader here at Bear Country moved in together and set up house in Tony’s family home. Soon afterward Amanda discovered she was going to have a baby. Everything was going well. Tony said they were happy and couldn’t wait for their baby to arrive. Amanda suddenly became sick and went into premature labor. The baby, a little boy was born early and died within a day. Amanda died a couple of days later. Tony moved into Bear Country a few days after that.