Journal 160

It’s sad but true. People die. Before the virus struck, I used to be interested in the obituaries in the newspaper. I was curious about who died. Who was the oldest person and who was the youngest person? I really didn’t care who these people were or what they meant to their families. I was just fascinated that they died. These days when someone dies, it’s more personal. I have lost more friends than I care to remember.

Tony, Victor, Sheriff Pete, the Library Trio (Marty, Gretchen, and Cecelia) and me went to the warehouse to see if we could retrieve Hess’s body from the rubble. I thought it would be nice to lay her to rest somewhere instead of leaving her body to decay amongst the rubble. She actually did a lot of good in her short life even if she didn’t end her life on a good note. There were already several Blue Monarchs searching thru the rubble when we arrived at the warehouse. The rubble was still smoldering in places. You have to be careful. I burned a couple of fingers. We searched for a couple of hours but didn’t find her body anywhere.

General Yates and his soldiers are preparing to leave Bear Country. Yesterday morning after the party, I went to see how General Yates was doing. I was worried he might be sick. He didn’t look very well when he left the party. Yates was not having a good day. He was barking orders left and right. He grabbed one of the younger soldiers by his shirt and yelled at him to do what he was told. I quickly got the feeling that he was upset with me and his soldiers were feeling the brunt of his anger. I cornered Yates in one of the trucks and kicked the other two soldiers out. I begged Yates to talk to me. It took some time, but he finally told me what was wrong. Yates came to Bear Country to help me out and to ask me to go back to Ft Shasta with him.

If I had stayed at Ft Shasta, I could have avoided this whole Bliss and Black Cobra nightmare. I would probably be playing house right now with Yates and his son. Yates knew about the night I stayed in the basement with Tony. Victor had told Yates where I was when he went looking for me to invite me to breakfast. Yates knew where I had been before he even asked. He caught me in a lie. I wasn’t trying to keep Tony a secret.  I just didn’t think it was anyone else’s business.  If I had realized Yates had feelings for me, I would have made a couple of different decisions. I can’t change what has already happened. Yates still wants me to go back to Ft Shasta with him. He has given me two days to make up my mind.

Tony and I have not made any type of commitment to each other. I don’t know how he feels about the other night. I am not sure how I feel about the other night. Tony is a good man, and he is my friend.