The Journal of Madie Beartri

Journal 91

Tony and Casey stood outside my door and knocked for a couple of hours. The knocking was making me insane. Casey’s crying was making me insane. I couldn’t take one more knock or one more “please let us in”. I considered jumping out the window and running away. However, I was too high up. I unlocked the door.

Casey stepped into my room. I tried to ignore her by making myself busy. Casey stood there crying. She asked if Aleece was getting big, and did she have any hair? She said she missed her deeply. She thanked me for taking care of Aleece while she was away. I turned around to face Casey and snapped. “How dare you abandon that sweet little baby and then come back here and expect me to give her back.” Casey tried to tell me she didn’t abandon Aleece. I yelled for her to get out of my room. I told her she wasn’t getting Aleece back.  Casey ran out of my room sobbing. I didn’t care. I was in the right and she was in the wrong.

Tony stepped into my room next. He was calm and spoke quietly. He said he understood my concern. I stood there staring out the window. I didn’t want to hear what he was saying.  I asked him to go away. I wasn’t giving Aleece back. Tony said I had to give her back. She wasn’t mine.  He said I didn’t know the whole story. Tony stepped up behind me and put his arms around me. I was trying not to cry. Tony quietly spoke into my ear and said that Mathias sold Casey into slavery. She spent more than a week in his jail. He sold her to a gang that needed people to dig tunnels and excavate ore. I turned around and cried into his shoulder. I didn’t want to give Aleece back to Casey.

Journal 90

I’ve locked myself in my room. The day began ordinarily. Aleece and I woke up early. We ate breakfast and then I read Aleece a little bit of Winnie the Pooh. I was feeling happy and alive. I decided to share my happiness. We went down to the basement to see Tony and asked if he and Runt wanted to go to the park.  Tony declined our invitation. He said that today was the day Runt was going to begin his lessons on reading and writing. Runt didn’t look to happy about the idea. He was sitting at a table in the corner sulking. He thought learning to read was dumb and a waste of time. I assured Runt that it was not a waste of time. Reading and writing would someday keep someone from taking advantage of him. Tony said that if Runt finished with his lessons, they would meet us at the park later.  I could work with that. Aleece and I trotted happily to the park.

Aleece and I walked around the lake, looked at the ducks and watched Lost chase squirrels. No one was under the big Oak tree, so I spread out a blanket. It was a beautiful day, sunny with a slight breeze. I was getting ready to give Aleece her midmorning bottle when I heard Runt yelling my name. My first thought was that somehow Tony had gotten hurt. I stood up and yelled back at him “What’s wrong? From halfway across the park, Runt yells back that Casey is home. At first, I wasn’t sure if I heard him correctly.  Then panic struck. Casey is home! I have to give Aleece back!  Runt finally reached the oak tree. I tried to sound excited about her coming home. I asked Runt to run back to Bear Country and tell everyone that I would be back in a little while. I needed to make a quick stop and pick up some formula. I didn’t have any more in my room.

My heart was beating out of my chest and my mind was racing. I had to figure out what to do and I only had a few moments to come up with a plan.  It took me a little more than an hour to return to Bear Country. Casey and Tony met me at the front door of the school. Casey looked a little sad when she saw that I didn’t have Aleece.  Casey and Tony both asked simultaneously “Where is Aleece?”  My good day had turned into a bad day. I looked at Casey and calmly said that she was at a friend’s place. Tony grabbed me by the arm and asked, “What Friend?” I didn’t answer. I left the both of them standing there and went straight up to my room. I can’t tell them where she is.  I won’t give Aleece back over to the woman that abandoned her.

Journal 88

I spent the morning playing with Aleece and thinking about my childhood. I was thinking mostly about my father. He was a good man and made my life incredibly interesting. He never let a learning opportunity pass. I miss those unexpected lessons. For example, one day when I was about seven years old my father and I were driving to the Home Depot to pick up a new faucet for my mother. My mom loved to redecorate. A hooker was soliciting customers on the corner. My father stops the car and points. “That is a hooker.”  I remember thinking. “Ok, what is a hooker?”  My father gave me a little speech about hookers and the difficult life they chose. I am not certain if he actually said what a hooker did for a living but I remember staring out the window and thinking “that is one ugly woman” and “she must be really cold.”

In memory of my father, I have been teaching Aleece little life lessons. I realize she is a little small to remember anything I tell her but she looks at me as if she is really listening.  I have been trying not to let her forget about her mom Casey. I tell Aleece that her mom will return soon and I show Aleece her mom’s picture.  Sometimes I am not sure if I am doing this for Aleece’s benefit or for mine. If Casey comes back tomorrow, I will have to give Aleece back to her mom. I find myself hoping she doesn’t return.  I am deeply attached to this little girl.

Aleece and I are meeting Tony and Runt later. We are going to go shopping for baby shoes and a few other things. Aleece is becoming mobile. She hasn’t started crawling but she does lift herself up to her hands. She hasn’t been able to get to her knees but I don’t think it will be long. I don’t want to her scrap her little toes when she does begin to crawl.

Journal 86

Yates kept his word. My time at Fort Shasta is ending. Tomorrow, we go home to Bear Country.  I miss my home and my friends. I miss my room in the admin hallway. I miss my life as gang leader. I thought I needed a break from being gang leader, from the responsibility. I went on a little vacation with some of my closest friends. The vacation didn’t turn out the way I thought it would. I was expecting two weeks of relaxation and a little time to be myself with no responsibilities, no worries, except for my responsibility to Aleece. Sometimes life gives you a little lesson. I have learned a great deal from this experience. I learned that I am stronger than I realized. I will no longer take my life for granted.

This morning at the parade grounds a ceremony was held formally making Yates the new General and leader of Fort Shasta. I think he will make a good leader even if he did read my journal without asking.  I think that reading my story gave Yates a deep appreciation for me. It’s funny but I usually keep my journal close to me. I don’t know why I left it on the table.

General Yates and his officers are going to discuss making Fort Shasta open to the public. This will help decrease the shortage of women. He is making purchasing wives from the slave traders illegal. I think this is a wise decision.

Hemy is out of jail and can’t wait to get back home to Matt.  She didn’t have much of a honeymoon. This could explain her crankiness and irritability. Please note that she is the only one of us that ended up in jail.

Journal 85

Yates spent most of last evening at the jail discussing the trial with his sister. He left early this morning before I had the chance to talk to him. He left me a note with instructions to meet him at the trial building. I dropped David and Aleece off at the preschool and then walked over to the trial building. Yates met me at the door. He looked worried and a bit frustrated. The first thing he said was that he was sorry. Playing dumb, I said “About what?” He surprised me by saying “for bringing you here.”  I thought he was going to mention my journal. “Does this mean I can go back home to Bear Country?” I was only kidding because I truly was expecting his answer to be NO. He surprised me again by saying that if I helped his sister get a fair trial he would let me and my friends go home, including Hemy.  No pressure!

A few hours later, Yates and I with several of the top officers from Fort Shasta entered the courtroom. General Scott began the trial by saying that a trial wasn’t necessary. His wife was obviously guilty and he was prepared to pass sentence.  The crowd in the room suddenly got very noisy. Yates stood up and objected. He asked General Scott to step down from the bench. General Scott refused. The other officers stood up and one at a time asked for General Scott to step down. The General said there wasn’t anyone else in the room qualified to be the judge.  Yates said that I was qualified. I was a gang leader and impartial to these hearings. The other officers agreed. General Scott stepped down and I stepped up. Ten officers took their places on the jury.

The trial only lasted a few hours. Witnesses from both sides had a chance to speak their minds, including the General. Yates’s sister never denied her guilt. The jurors left the room and came back within thirty minutes time with a verdict of guilty and a plan for restitution. The officers on the jury considered the crime of adultery a serious matter. They suggested that Yates’ sister spend the next year performing the dirty jobs that no one else wanted to do around Fort Shasta. The officers also dissolved her marriage to General Scott. She will give a public apology. I agreed with the verdict and the suggested restitution.

General Scott disagreed with the outcome of the trial. He went ballistic and started ranting and raving about the scum of society. He said she was getting off easy. He wanted his wife dead. He said he didn’t want her hanging around undermining his authority.  Yates asked General Scott to be quiet. He was making himself look bad. The General continued yelling, then dove at his wife, and tried to strangle her.

General Scott was relieved of his duties as leader of Fort Shasta by the other officers.

Journal 84

Yates took me to the jail to see Hemy. She was sitting on a bench, in a jail cell, dressed in a gray jumpsuit. I must have been an unexpected visitor because the moment I said “HI,” she jumped up off the bench. I apologized for getting her in this mess. If I hadn’t invited her and Matt along on my getaway to the lodge she would still be safe at Central.  Hemy said it wasn’t my fault. It was the creep of a new husbands fault. He should have taken her “No” seriously. We talked for a long time. I promised to help her get out of jail. I passed on the information that Yates gave me. He said that there would be a trial and that I could testify on her behalf. Hemy didn’t seem to be thrilled about going to trial. I tried to calm her nerves by telling her not to worry. I wish I wasn’t worried.

Other news, Yates sister is in the cell next to Hemy. She is in jail because she was caught having an affair with a soldier. Her husband is General Scott, the leader of Fort Shasta and the best friend of Yates. Yates and General Scott have been friends since they were both in diapers. Yates said that the affair his sister had with the other soldier has hurt his friendship with General Scott. The two men are barely speaking to each other. Yates also said that the General is not in his right mind. He had the other soldier killed and would have had his sister killed too if he hadn’t intervened.  The General scheduled the trial for tomorrow. The General plans to play judge. I don’t see how a fare trial could come from this.

I write a great deal of my life in my journals. I suppose if you wanted to know what kind of person I was, you would or could read my journal entries. I have never hidden my journal or locked it away from the eyes of others. It never occurred to me to do that. I was a little surprised when I woke up this morning to fine Yates reading the entries. I don’t think he knew I was standing there. I almost jumped out and scared him but decided not to. I quietly went back to bed so that he could finish reading my story. He knows a lot more about me now. I’m thinking this is probably a good thing.  Yates, I hope you enjoyed my story. I am open for questions.

Journal 83

I should be thankful that I am in a pleasant situation. Mathias could have sold me to the scum of the earth. Yates has been a gentleman. He is a good father. He is second in command on this base, and he looks good in a uniform. So far, the only thing I can hold against him is that he bought me from a slave trader.

One of my friends has not been so lucky. Guards are holding Hemy in custody for beating up her new husband. I guess he wasn’t a gentleman. Yates said she beat him up pretty badly. I’m not surprised. I asked if I could go and visit her. Yates said he would try to arrange for that to happen later today.

I met Lisa, Emily, and Kate at the preschool. It was good to see them. They are doing fine considering their circumstances. Lisa and Kate look a little depressed, but Emily seems happy. I think she likes her new husband.  I passed on the information about Hemy. We all had a good laugh and then the conversation turned serious. The topic of our conversation was mainly about Bear Country and getting home.

Bear Country does not compare to this base. They have things here that we could only dream about. If I wasn’t homesick and if I didn’t have responsibilities to Bear Country, I could almost call this place home. I am making the best of my current situation, but I need to go home. I want to go back to the life I was living. I want to see my friends, all of my friends. I continue to hope that Matt, Jonas, Pete, Joshua, Tony, and Runt are all alive and well.

I am patiently waiting for Yates to return from his meeting with the Base Commander. He went there to discuss some issues about his sister. I am curious. What issue?

Journal 82

Yates gave Aleece and me a tour of Fort Shasta. Fort Shasta was a secret military base back before the virus. Yates and several of the people that live on this base are the children of former soldiers that worked here. Yates’ father was a Colonel and a communications officer. This is a very clean, very well-maintained base.  The population is bigger than I imagined, and it is true that there aren’t many women around. Yates said everyone here was expected to work. He said it would be a couple of days before he could find me a suitable occupation.

I will have more freedom than I expected. Yates said I can go anywhere I liked on the base, but I would have to stay away from the areas that are marked for soldiers only. Unless of course I decided to enlist in the army then I would have access to some of the other places. Curiosity was killing me, with the freedom given what was keeping me here. I wasn’t surprised by the answer Yates gave me. He said there wasn’t anywhere to go. This is a secret military base. There is only one way in and one way out. Armed soldiers guard the entrance. He said I could try to go over the mountains, but he wouldn’t recommend it. The mountains are extremely steep and there is an electric fence around the entire perimeter. He said if I managed to make it up the mountain and over the fence, I would have to worry about wild animals. This area has mountain lions, bears and other wild critters that would love to make a meal of me. I don’t even know which direction would lead me home to Bear Country.

The end of our tour ended at a very colorful building with ducks and rabbits and other cartoon characters painted on the sides. Before we walked inside Yates said he didn’t bring me here to Fort Shasta to be his sex slave. I breathed a sigh of relief. I spent all night thinking of excuses I could use to avoid sex. He said he brought me here to be a mom to his two-year-old son. His wife died last year from pneumonia. He said he loved his wife and didn’t expect me to fill her shoes. Yates’ sister was taking care of the boy but she is now unavailable.  I was going to ask why she is unavailable but decided against it. Sometimes I think there is a higher power out there laughing at me trying to see how complicated he can make my life.  I now have the responsibility of caring for two children that aren’t my own. Yates’ son David is adorable, and he was so glad to see his Dad when we walked into the building. The four of us walked back home.

I have not seen the other girls since my arrival. I am hoping their stay at Fort Shasta has been as pleasant. Yates said he would locate their quarters for me so that I could visit my friends, but he cautioned about breaking any rules or trying to escape.