The Journal of Madie Beartri

Journal 95

It has not been a good night. Sometimes life sucks. Gretchen finally delivered her baby at four in the morning. I have never been so glad. I don’t think I could have taken one more hour of Gretchen crying and screaming. Poor Gretchen pushing that baby out was an impossible task. There was an enormous amount of blood.

Gretchen fell asleep almost immediately after the baby’s delivery. I’m not even sure she knows he is a boy. Hemy helped me clean the baby up and tuck him in bed next to Gretchen. He is an adorable baby boy. He is small, not much bigger than a doll. I tried to let Marty know that his baby boy was born but I couldn’t wake him. His fever was through the roof again. Tony told me to leave him alone. Marty didn’t need to expose his baby to the illness.

After Hemy, Tony and I cleaned up Gretchen we decided to try to make Cecelia more comfortable before we tried to get some needed sleep. Cecelia had been lying in birthing fluid for hours. We had been ignoring her, not on purpose but Gretchen needed our help more. Cecelia hadn’t made hardly any sounds in hours. Hemy and I grabbed some clean blankets and towels and began to clean up the bed Cecelia was sleeping on. Cecelia was very unresponsive except for a couple of moans and groans. Cecelia was sicker than we had realized.

Hemy was attempting to put clean towels under Cecelia’s bottom when I heard Hemy say “Oh shit” in a panicky way. The baby’s head was halfway out. I tried slapping Cecelia awake to get her to push. I didn’t help. I tried pinching her arm and yelling at her to push. Nothing was helping.

Tony pushed me out of the way and lifted Cecelia to her knees. Tony said gravity would help. Why does he know these things? Hemy grabbed the baby’s head and gave it a pull. The baby slid out easily. He was small. I think he was too small. We tried to get him to breathe forever. His little body just lay there. He never took the first breath. We wrapped him in a blanket and set him aside.

Journal 94

I’m tired and my head hurts. I need to sleep. We all need to sleep but I don’t see that happening anytime soon. There is too much commotion happening around here. Sick people are everywhere. A few are taking care of the majority.

I think I liked it better when Marty was unconscious. He keeps trying to get out of bed and help Gretchen and Cecelia. The only problem is that he is running a high fever and keeps falling down every time he gets out of bed. One of these times he is going to crack his head open. I am getting tired of putting him back into bed. Tony is tired of putting Marty back into bed. If Marty gets up again Tony said he is going to tie him down so that he can’t get back up.

Cecelia is laboring but laboring quietly. If she is in as much pain as Gretchen, she isn’t showing it. Gretchen had been screaming at the top of her lungs for hours. Her labor pains are never ending. She has barely a minute of relief between contractions. I have been taking turns with Hemy and a couple of other people trying to get Gretchen to breathe and relax. Gretchen is so out of control that nothing we say or do is helping. Somebody shoot me if I ever become pregnant. I don’t remember Casey’s labor ever being this bad. Casey’s labor lasted for days but it was never constant, and she never screamed this loudly.

Journal 93

Well, they did it because there is a hole in the middle of the lobby roof. I’m proud to announce no one actually fell off the roof and broke an arm, leg or neck. Pete had a near miss, but the other boys save him from plummeting to his death. Breaking through the roof took several hours. The boys were frozen to the bone by the time they made it back inside. After Tony, Pete, Matt, and Jonas climbed down off the roof; I asked them how they planned to keep the rain, snow or whatever from pouring through the hole. The boys didn’t appreciate my humor. I wasn’t trying to be funny. They are going to climb back up onto the roof tomorrow and build a little roof over the hole. This should be fun to watch.

Journal 92

Matt and Jonas were unable to find more fuel to keep our portable heaters running but they did find a portable gas stove and two of those large tanks of propane at the Home Depot. Jonas said they found them by accident as they were rummaging through the rubble. It was a great find. Tony and Pete both said the gas stove would only give the room heat for a day. A better use would be to use the gas stove for cooking.

Tony had another idea. He wants to poke a hole in the lobby roof like a chimney and build a fire in the lobby. I protested loudly about the building of a fire inside Bear Country. My previous experience with inside fires said building a fire inside Bear Country was a bad idea. After I had calmed down from my tirade, Tony explained a little further, mostly for my benefit. We have metal sheets in the basement and several empty barrels. Tony said we could line the floor with the metal sheets and put the barrels on top. We could burn old desks and would scraps. The room would stay warm as long as we kept the fire going. The smoke would go out through the ceiling. I’m not feeling good about this. It would be a tragedy if we burned down our home.

Tony, Pete, Jonas, and Matt are outside trying to figure out how to get up onto the roof without falling and killing themselves in the process. I am keeping my fingers crossed that no one falls or breaks a leg.

Journal 91

Marty has fallen seriously ill. I was guarding the back door to the kitchen when Marty entered to get something to eat. He looked a little wobbly but refused my help. Marty fell to the floor the moment he opened the pantry doors. I guess it’s time to doctor the doctor.

Gretchen and Cecelia are both very distraught over Marty being ill. I don’t think the stress is doing either of them any good. Gretchen continues to have contractions, and Cecelia doesn’t look any better. I think Cecelia is also having labor pains, but she won’t admit it. I caught Cecelia doubled over more than once today. Every time I offered my assistance, she shooed me away and said she was fine. I don’t think she is fine. Gretchen remains in bed. She keeps trying to get up and help Marty even though I assured her Hemy, and I will see to Marty needs.

Hemy must have an extremely good immune system. She doesn’t seem ill at all. You should see her running around here like a superwoman. I asked her to slow down but she insists that she is fine.

I almost had a heart attack earlier. I was checking on Marty when Victor stepped up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. I look over my shoulder and shriek. Victor is startled and falls back onto his butt. I think I lost ten years of my life during that moment.

The almost dead should never sneak up on a person. I don’t know when Victor became conscious, but he has been walking around like a lost puppy. Victor’s only complaint is that his throat is sore. I decided not to tell Victor that Marty and Tony kept sticking a tube down his throat to give him nourishment.

Journal 90

The snow is still falling. I think it is colder than the North Pole outside. Our fuel reserves are dwindling fast. Matt and Jonas went down to the basement to retrieve more fuel for the portable heaters and discovered we had none. At first, Tony thought they had looked in the wrong place in the basement. He took Matt and Jonas back down into the basement to show them the location of the hidden fuel. You should have heard the ruckus when they came back to the lobby.

Tony went ballistic when he discovered the fuel was indeed missing. Tony had just counted the number of gallons we had left the day before. If we were careful, we would have had enough to last us at least another week. This would give us a little time to find and obtain some more.

Sometime during the night Bear Country was broken into and our remaining fuel taken. Matt, Jonas, and a couple of other people went looking for more fuel. I don’t know what we are going to do if we can’t find more. I hate to say this, but I am relieved that I am not one of the people having to go out into the cold to find more fuel. I would have gone if asked but I’m glad Pete didn’t choose me.

Pete has placed guards all over Bear Country. It will be my turn in a couple of hours. I get to guard the back entrance near the kitchen. Everyone is sick to some degree. There is no way to get out of this detail. Not that I would want to but when you are not feeling your best and just want to sleep the idea of having to pull guard duty really sucks.

Marty is starting to look ill. He almost tumbled over. He had that look in his eyes you get right before the room turns black and you pass out. I think Marty is over worked he had been taking care of everyone else instead of himself. Marty is worried about Gretchen. Gretchen is also feeling ill. She had been having contractions all morning long.

We have Gretchen lying down and drinking fluids. I think Gretchen is running a fever. She feels very warm to the touch. Cecelia has been hovering over Gretchen like a mother hen all day. I have been trying to get Cecelia to rest and not exhaust herself.

 

 

Journal 89

I haven’t picked up this journal in two days. My hands are freezing. My whole body is freezing. The portable heaters work fine if you are standing within a dozen feet of the units but if you are farther away, the room is like an icebox.

The snow continues to fall. The healthy and the sick have divided Bear Country. The sick is resting on one side of the room and the apparent healthy on the other. I have a stuffy head and sore throat. I have taken my place amongst the lepers. Victor is still surviving but barely. He remains unconscious. Marty is playing a doctor. With the help of Tony, Matt and Jonas, Marty has set up a makeshift hospital on one side of the room.

Marty has been reading medical books for the last couple of days. I’ve watched him flip through page after page in a dozen or so books. It’s a little scary but Marty says he knows what he is doing. Tony and Marty stuck a tube down Victor’s throat and poured in water, smashed apples, and powdered milk. I couldn’t watch. The thought of having something stuck down my throat makes me gag. Victor is so out of it he didn’t even flinch.

Kate, who I have not seen in ages dropped by Bear Country today, but Pete wouldn’t let her in. He has quarantined all of Bear Country. Kate came for help. Several people at the Spurs Fort are ill, including Joshua. I wanted to run out there and help the second I heard he was sick, but my loyalties are here at Bear Country. I don’t think I would have made the journey anyway. My head is so stuffy I can hardly breathe. Walking ten paces exhausts me. Kate asked Marty for medical advice. Several members of the Spurs are gravely ill. She looked sad that we couldn’t help more. I asked Kate to tell Joshua I would be thinking of him. I am feeling guilty.

Journal 88

The drastic change in weather has caught everyone by surprise. It is so horribly cold. We weren’t expecting this kind of weather for at least another month. Marty thinks the meteor showers and the earthquakes caused the sudden onset of winter. All the excess debris in the atmosphere has messed up the weather patterns.

We woke up yesterday morning to a foot of snow on the ground. All ten of my toes have turned into icicles and I have on three pairs of socks. Tony, Pete, Jonas, and Matt set up the portable heaters in the main lobby. It’s too cold to sleep in individual classrooms. I guess we will be camping out in the lobby until the weather decides to warm up. Last night Matt, Hemy, Jonas and me all snuggled up to each other trying not to freeze. (A small note Jonas is a blanket hog.) There were other similar groups around the room. I have a feeling this is just the beginning of a long horrible cold winter.

Please, please, please don’t let the weather stay this cold for too long. I hate having to sleep with everyone. I like my privacy, but my room is currently doubling as a walk-in freezer. Not really but it could be if needed.

Victor is still sicker than a dog. He is running a high fever and is breathing like a locomotive. The boy has been unconscious since yesterday. He looks bad and sounds even worse. Tony has been guarding Victor like a mother hen. He hasn’t left Victor’s side in two days. There are people in Bear Country who believe we should abandon Victor outside to die so that no one else gets ill. You should have heard the protest when Tony and I moved Victor from the basement up to the main lobby. I thought a war was going to break out and divide Bear Country down the middle. Pete was very quick at calming the situation. He is very good at bringing out the guilt in people.

I understand the concerns of the people who would like to see Victor removed from Bear Country. It’s self-preservation. No one wants to die. I understand their concerns (I partly agree), but we can’t let Victor (no matter what kind of pain in the butt he has been in the past) freeze to death and die of pneumonia. He may die anyway. We have no medicine. If he is going to recover, he is going to recover on his own. Victor is currently resting in a corner of the lobby away from everyone else with Tony by his side.

Journal 87

It’s been two days of unbearably cold weather. I think I actually saw snow flurries earlier. There has been little movement in Bear Country over the last couple of days. Everyone is huddled in their rooms beneath their blankets. I briefly ran downstairs to get something to eat out of the food stores. The cupboards are bare. I grabbed an apple and a cup of hot water. I was so cold, anything warm felt good inside my stomach.

We ran out of tea, coffee, and hot chocolate ages ago. You don’t find these things in the market anymore. I started towards my room for the comfort and safety of my blankets when Tony walked through the back door of the kitchen. He had an actual box of hot chocolate. The first words out of my mouth were “Oh my God is that hot chocolate?” At first, Tony denied he had anything. I tackled him and grabbed the box. Tony made me swear not to tell anyone he had it. I was so cold I would have sworn to anything for a cup of that hot chocolate.

Our secret didn’t remain a secret very long. Runt, I mean Victor stumbled into the kitchen looking bad. He was sneezing and barking like a dog. My first reaction was to back away. Getting sick can be a death sentence and I didn’t want to catch whatever Victor had. Tony felt sorry for Victor and made him some hot chocolate. The three of us were heading down to the basement to tuck Victor into bed when we ran into Gretchen and Cecelia. The smell of the hot chocolate was in the air. They forced us to share.

Journal 86

It was so cold this morning. An unexpected cold front snuck in overnight. Yesterday was a long sleeve shirt day but the weather was nice. I woke up in the middle of the night freezing my butt off. I had to jump out of bed, grab another blanket and put on another layer of clothes just to keep from turning into a Popsicle. I stayed in bed as long as I could this morning. I was dreading stepping out into the frigid air a second time. I was finally forced to get up because my bladder was about to explode and because I was starving. It was a good thing I got out of bed when I did. Disaster was only moments away.

Sometimes people don’t use their brains. I’m thinking common sense probably comes with age. By the time I made it downstairs a group of kids was in the process of building a large fire in a wheel barrel in the front lobby. I guess they were cold. However, someone should have told them that building a fire inside Bear Country was a bad idea. The hall was quickly filling with smoke. I’m sure the kids thought I was insane. Why change a trend? I started yelling at the kids for trying to burn down our/my home. I grabbed a bucket out of the kitchen, filled it with water and poured it on the fire. I made a huge mess, and the kids were not happy, but I wasn’t about to let Bear Country burn to the ground. I lost my first home because a bunch of kids tried to build a fire indoors. The entire gated community I lived in burned to the ground.

I asked Pete if he wouldn’t mind holding a meeting to let everyone know that we have heaters for when the weather gets bad, but our fuel is limited. If the kids need to build fires, they can go outdoors.