Journal 78

“Offer myself?” I did not want to die! The hum in the room got louder and louder. People started saying my name, “Madie…Madie…Madie.” Everyone formed a circle around me. The circle got smaller and smaller. I felt swallowed by the crowd. I couldn’t breathe. I feel someone steal Aleece from my arms. Tony holds Aleece up in the air by the back of her gown. Aleece is crying. Screaming with her little arms outstretched. Casey is chanting with the others. Why isn’t she saving her baby? Tony has the dagger in his other hand preparing to strike Aleece with the blade. Pete is whispering in my ear. “Save Aleece, offer yourself.”

I screamed for everyone to stop. The room goes silent. Tony still had Aleece up in the air preparing to strike her with the dagger. I looked at Tony. I pleaded and begged Tony to put Aleece down. Tony handed Aleece back to Casey and then he handed the dagger to me. The dagger was quite beautiful. The crowd parted to reveal the altar. I walked over to it and sat on the edge. Pete said a prayer or something. I really wasn’t listening. Then he sprinkled me with the same perfume he had put on Aleece. I swung my legs around and lay down. I held the dagger in both hands and raised it high up into the air. I closed my eyes and counted to three.