Journal 163

The games we play. It rained just enough today to make the ground muddy in places and to make a game of touch football worth watching. General Yates and a few of his soldiers played against Tony, Sheriff Pete, Jonas, Matt, Hemy, Hyatt, and Joshua. (I don’t play football, but I watch). Marty and Victor were the referees. By the end of the game, it was almost impossible to tell who was who.  Not one person playing the game escaped being covered in mud from head to toe. I thought the whole purpose of playing flag football was so that no one is tackled. I could be wrong because people were rolling in the mud on nearly every play.  It was a close game. The game continued until the players couldn’t pick themselves up out of the mud anymore. Yates and his soldiers made an admirable attempt at winning unfortunately the people living in and around Bear Country have a determination that can’t be beat.

Yates and his soldiers will be leaving first thing in the morning. Do I stay or do I go? I am joining Yates for dinner in about an hour. I promised to give Yates my answer by the end of our meal. My brain is telling me life would be safer and less complicated at Ft Shasta. My heart is telling me not to leave Bear Country. This is my home. Yates is a good man. It would be insane to turn down his offer of a better life.

I think everyone knows I am thinking about leaving. I have been getting looks from people all day long. No one has come out and asked me. I think they are all waiting to see how I make up my mind. I went to the basement to talk to Tony earlier, but he wasn’t there. I think he is avoiding me. I hope he doesn’t think avoiding me is going to make it easier for me to make my decision. I need to talk to him. I long for the days when making decisions was a lot easier. Either I did what my parents asked me to do, or I didn’t.