The Journal of Madie Beartri

Journal 110

It is continuing to snow. It’s so frickin cold. I didn’t sleep well last night. Several people coughed and tried to hack up their lungs most of the night. Around three in the morning, my bladder forced me to get up and go to the bathroom. I avoided getting out of bed as long as possible, but my bladder was on the verge of exploding. I wrapped myself in a couple of blankets and walked up the stairs to the bathroom in the admin hallway. The bathroom was so cold that there was ice in a couple of sinks. Have you ever noticed that it is hard to go pee when the toilet seat is cold, and you are freezing?

On my way back to my bed in the front lobby, I saw Lisa and Tyson walking out the front doors of Bear Country. Lisa never follows the rules. The last thing I remember, we banned Tyson from entering Bear Country.

Then again, he has been a different person since joining the Followers of Aloysius. If he doesn’t cause any trouble, I guess I won’t say anything. Tyson and Lisa were going to an Aloysius meeting or gathering. I hope they didn’t have far to go because it looked like a blizzard outside.

We had a little excitement today. Tony and Victor managed to get a radio working. Someone is out there broadcasting music to the surrounding area. How cool is that?

Journal 139

I spent most of the day huddled in my blanket and daydreaming about warm weather. I’m too tired to walk around the room. Anna dropped by and gave me more water and two apples. I had to memorize a prayer and then praise Aloysius before she would give it to me.

Journal 109

I looked around the room not certain what to do next. They caught me off guard. I was in the kitchen with a group of Followers of Aloysius. My mind was spinning. Should I run or just slowly back out of the room? I thought of excusing myself by saying I was suddenly feeling ill. Unfortunately, Jonas took the first available seat and then winked at me. If thoughts could cause ailments, Jonas would have a severe case of irritable bowels. I smiled at everyone in the room and took my place at the table opposite Jonas and between two followers of Aloysius. I smiled and glared at Jonas and then kicked him in the shin.

The meal was very nice. I didn’t talk much during the meal. I answered a couple of questions about Bear Country. Jonas didn’t stop talking the entire time. He talked to everyone around the table at least once. After the meal, Roman-Lloyd invited Jonas and me to a gathering at the movie theater. The Followers of Aloysius we are getting together to celebrate Aloysius and all that is good. Before Jonas could answer, I said that Bear Country needed us, but we could attend a gathering at another time. Roman-Lloyd politely said that the gatherings are open to everyone who wished to attend.

Jonas teased me most of the way home. After I had received my fill of teasing, I pushed Jonas into a drainage ditch and walked the rest of the way home alone.

Journal 108

Roman-Lloyd invited Jonas and me into the house. It was a nice farmhouse, very clean. I was looking forward to the free meal. Jonas was already licking his lips. I think the boy would eat anything if it were offered free. So, would I.

Roman-Lloyd took our coats and hung them up on the coat rack just inside the front door and then he offered us seats in a little sitting room just off to the side. Roman-Lloyd said he would be back for us in a few minutes. He had to go and clean up.

The minutes ticked by. I was beginning to feel a little abandoned. I kept peeking out the sitting room door. Finally, the little girl I had seen in the barn entered the sitting room. She was wearing a little white country dress covered with tiny little flowers and a green ribbon in her hair. She was very cute. I was suddenly feeling a little underdressed.

The little girl invited Jonas and me to lunch. We followed her into the kitchen. It was an ordinary kitchen with a long wooden table surrounded by benches. Food covered the table. Standing around the table in various clothes of white were eight followers of Aloysius.

Roma-Lloyd was at the head of the table. “Welcome to our home. Please join us for our meal.” I’m sure I didn’t breathe for an entire minute.

Journal 107

Jonas and I both swung around to see who was talking. My face was so cold that I was having trouble speaking. Jonas explained that we weren’t lost. We were just hoping to barter for food. Roman-Lloyd, as we would shortly discover was his name, said that his gang didn’t usually trade with outsiders, but he might be able to help us out depending on what we needed.

I was freezing and my fingers were starting to throb. I asked Roman-Lloyd if he had a fire barrel I could stand nearby. I wanted to thaw out my hands. Roman-Lloyd graciously invited Jonas and me into the barn. He said we could warm up there while he gathered up the items that we needed. It was a nice barn, and it was warm. The barn was very spacious and filled with hay. A dozen chickens, several goats, three cows and four horses occupied the barn with us. I plopped down in the middle of a haystack. Jonas walked around the room looking at the animals. Jonas commented on the animals’ wellbeing. All the animals were very well taken care of and not scrawny and underfed like the normal livestock we have seen. A few minutes later Roman-Lloyd and a young girl about 7 years old returned with the items we had requested. Jonas and I handed over the items we had agreed to trade.

Roman-Lloyd asked Jonas and me if we wanted to stay for lunch. Jonas and I both looked at each other and said “Yes” in unison.

Journal 106

I stepped off the steps into the snow. Jonas was close behind and he didn’t look thrilled about having to go on our little expedition. Jonas mumbled something about hating the cold. At least the two of us were on the same page. I hate the cold too. I asked Jonas where he would like to go first. He looked left then he looked right. Then he looked left and then he looked right. A couple more moments of contemplation and we walked off towards the farms on the edge of town. It would have been a waste of time to go searching for food in town. No one will set up a kiosk when the weather is cold.

Farmers are a rare breed, and they take their farming very seriously. Bear Country’s agriculture club provides most of our food. We don’t have everything we need. For example, Bear Country doesn’t have chickens. A good laying chicken is worth its weight in gold. Getting an egg on the open market is almost impossible. You must know someone to get eggs. (Any kind of egg, Chicken or otherwise) Another thing that is hard to find is real milk. A few farms will sell milk from their cows, sheep, and goats but you are going to pay a very hefty price. Beware of anything sold on the open market claiming to be milk. If you are going to purchase milk, buy it from a farmer and insist on a little sip. You don’t want to buy milk that has been sitting around in a bucket for two or three days.

The first two farm doors we knocked on had nothing to trade. By this time, I was freezing to death. I was almost ready to tell Jonas I wanted to go back home to Bear Country. Jonas and I had been out in the cold for two hours. The third farm looked a little more promising from a distance. We could see smoke coming from more than one of the buildings and a few people walking around outside doing chores. An active farm usually means a working farm and food to barter.

We almost made it to the main house when I heard someone ask us if we were lost.

Journal 105

It has started to snow again. I’m sick of snow. Jonas and I spent the entire day out in the snow. Back before the virus, I used to pray for snow days. My parents used to moan and groan. I never understood their hate for the snow. It was fun for me. There was no school and I could spend the entire day playing in the snow making snowmen and snow angels. I played until my fingers and toes ached with cold. My mom would always have something warm for me to eat and drink when I needed a break. Now I understand. The snow is pretty, but it can make your life miserable when it interferes with life.

Several people in Bear Country are still recovering from their illnesses. If the weather doesn’t decide to warm up soon, I fear people will start to get sick all over again. I’m tired of rooming in with everyone in Bear Country. I need solitude. I spent a little while in my room in the admin hallway but nearly froze to death. It is horribly cold when you get away from the fire barrels.

Sheriff Pete sent Jonas and me on a food recovery mission. I tried to back out of the tasks, but Pete gave me one of those stern looks. I know he was thinking that I was once the gang leader of Bear Country, and I should know the importance of stocking our food stores. I know the importance, but I wanted to go out to the Spurs Fort and check up on Joshua.

Journal 104

I stomped off into the snow. I was furious that Anna had made herself so comfortable inside the Spurs Fort in such a short amount of time. I kept repeating in my head the phrase that Anna said about believing in Aloysius. I admit I was a little pissed. If I ever meet up with this Aloysius, I’m giving him a smack upside the head.

I made it out the gate of the Spurs Fort about the time that Tony grabbed me by my coat and spun me around. Tony was angry with me for whatever reason. I was civilized inside the Spurs Fort. I didn’t say one mean thing and I wasn’t rude in any way. Ok, I was thinking that it would be nice if Anna’s head exploded but a girl has a right to her thoughts. Tony should have been angry with Anna and her friends. They just walked into the Spurs Fort and took over as if they owned the place.

Tony looked me straight in the eyes and said that I needed to make up my mind. I think the cold froze a few of Tony’s brain cells or something. Sometimes he makes absolutely no sense. I glared back at Tony and said, “What the flip are you talking about?” Tony didn’t give me an answer, he just shoved me aside and walked away. I slipped and fell on the ice and landed on my butt. I had to walk all the way back to Bear Country alone.

Journal 103

I sat there tightly squeezing my cup and drank my tea. Tony had his arm around my shoulders. I didn’t even notice his arm was there until he gave me a squeeze. I think it was a squeeze to let me know he was sitting there, or it was a squeeze cautioning me to keep my cool. I was feeling a bit warm, not from the fireplace but from my temper. I was getting red in the face. I know it’s silly, but I wanted to slap Anna’s hand off Joshua’s shoulder. Joshua is my friend, and Anna is intruding on a friendship that I hold dear.

I asked Joshua if he needed anything. He said he had all he needed. Joshua gazed into Anna’s eyes. There was more patting and hand holding with Anna. I stood up from my chair and kissed Joshua on the cheek. I think I kissed him out of spite because Anna was standing there. I told Joshua I was glad he was recovering.

I looked at Anna and told her it was good to meet her. Then I said Tony and I needed to get back to Bear Country. Tony shook hands with Joshua. Anna escorted us to the door and graciously invited us back. Joshua stayed in his chair and drank his tea. I think he was still feeling a bit weak and tired. As soon as the door closed, I stomped down the stairs of the porch.

Journal 102

I sat near the fireplace with Tony and Joshua. Anna, one of the followers of Aloysius gave all three of us a cup of tea. I think it was tea. It had an odd taste, but it felt good going down. I tried not to stare at Joshua, but I couldn’t help myself. He looked so frail. I tried to start a conversation by asking Joshua how he had been. It was a dumb question. It was obvious how Joshua had been. Tony kicked me in the ankle. I suddenly wished I had asked something else. There was an awkward silence for a few moments as Joshua gathered his thoughts.

Joshua redirected the question to me and asked how everyone at Bear Country was doing. I told Joshua about the deaths of Gretchen and the baby. Joshua said he was sorry to hear about our losses. Joshua got quiet for a moment and then said The Spurs had lost four gang members before the Followers of Aloysius dropped by to trade. Anna put her hand on Joshua’s shoulder to comfort him and said it was the least her gang could do. Joshua smiled at Anna and continued by saying that the followers of Aloysius are the reason the Spurs did not lose more people. Joshua patted Anna on the hand. “Anna is the reason I am alive. She knows a great deal about herbs and their healing properties. She has not left my side for days.” Anna smiled at Joshua. “The herbs were a gift from Aloysius. I only know what he showed me. Aloysius provides all. All we must do is believe, Joshua.”