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Month: March 2013

Book 2 Journal Entry 80

Book 2 Journal Entry 80

Journal 80

I swear I honestly had no idea the last few days were only a dream. I am not sure what Joshua was thinking as he held me trying to comfort me, but he was making an honest effort to figure out what was wrong. I must have seemed off my rocker. I would have assumed drugs (aka Bliss), alcohol or a mental break if it were anyone else. In Joshua’s eyes, I doubt I was making any sense at all. It had only been about 12 hours since we played kicked the can down Preston Street.

Tony’s point of view was a little different. He hadn’t seen me in a couple of days. He missed the entire running around the room fiasco. The only thing Tony saw was Joshua’s holding me in his arms. Tony and I have a history. We have a complicated history. I am not certain I know exactly what type of relationship Tony and I have with each other. Sometimes I feel as if our relationship is only one of convenience. I share his bed. He shares mine and the rest of the time, we lead our own lives with no strings attached.

Tony knows Joshua and I are good friends. I have many good friends. With that said, I don’t think Tony appreciated Joshua holding me in his arms. I also don’t think Joshua appreciated Tony throwing a punch, which barely missed my head but struck Joshua’s cheek. A mere split second later, Joshua pushed me aside and pointed his gun at Tony. Tony’s hands fly up into the air. This is where time stands still for a moment. I looked at Joshua and said, “We must go. Tony’s guards will be here in a moment.” or something like that. Tony and Joshua both looked at me and then at each other and simultaneously said “WHAT?”

I gave them both a quick rundown of what had happened over the last few days. I was trying to refresh Tony’s memory. He put me through a great deal of torment. I gave as many details as I could remember including, with the white clothes, the sacrifice of Aleece and Tony holding me hostage. They both listened intently as I gave a rundown of the entire story in a minute.

Joshua put his gun away and apologized to Tony. Tony apologized to Joshua for throwing the punch. Tony looked at Joshua and said he had been gone for two days. Joshua looked at Tony and said he had seen me last night and everything was fine. They both looked at me and shook their heads. It was only a dream and now two of my friends think I am insane. They both left me standing there in the middle of my room in a state of confusion.

Book 2 Journal Entry 79

Book 2 Journal Entry 79

Journal 79

I plunged the dagger deep into my own chest. I felt a sharp pain and then gasp for a breath…. When I open my eyes Lost (the four-legged creature that resides out at the Spurs Fort with Joshua.) was standing in the middle of my chest. One of her front toenails left a scratch on my breastbone. Joshua was standing in my doorway. He apologizes for Lost jumping on me. He said he didn’t realize I would still be asleep.

Joshua thought I had gone insane. I threw Lost off me. I jumped out of bed. I looked down. There was no dagger in my chest. No dagger wound either, just a toenail scratch. I was wearing my own clothes. The white robes were gone. I ran around my room like a crazy woman. I asked Joshua how he managed to get past the guards. I peeked out my door into the hallway. Where were the guards? A hundred things were going through my mind at once. I grabbed Joshua by the arm. I told him we had to escape. Where were my shoes? I had a sudden thought. If I wasn’t dead, then Aleece was. I started to cry. Joshua grabbed me and hugged me. He assured me everything was fine. I told Joshua everything wasn’t fine. They’re crazy. They locked me in. They killed Aleece. Joshua held me tighter and tried to calm me down. He wanted to know who they were. I said it was Pete, Tony, and the others. That’s when Tony walked into my room.

Book 2 Journal Entry 78

Book 2 Journal Entry 78

Journal 78

“Offer myself?” I did not want to die! The hum in the room got louder and louder. People started saying my name, “Madie…Madie…Madie.” Everyone formed a circle around me. The circle got smaller and smaller. I felt swallowed by the crowd. I couldn’t breathe. I feel someone steal Aleece from my arms. Tony holds Aleece up in the air by the back of her gown. Aleece is crying. Screaming with her little arms outstretched. Casey is chanting with the others. Why isn’t she saving her baby? Tony has the dagger in his other hand preparing to strike Aleece with the blade. Pete is whispering in my ear. “Save Aleece, offer yourself.”

I screamed for everyone to stop. The room goes silent. Tony still had Aleece up in the air preparing to strike her with the dagger. I looked at Tony. I pleaded and begged Tony to put Aleece down. Tony handed Aleece back to Casey and then he handed the dagger to me. The dagger was quite beautiful. The crowd parted to reveal the altar. I walked over to it and sat on the edge. Pete said a prayer or something. I really wasn’t listening. Then he sprinkled me with the same perfume he had put on Aleece. I swung my legs around and lay down. I held the dagger in both hands and raised it high up into the air. I closed my eyes and counted to three.

Book 2 Journal Entry 77

Book 2 Journal Entry 77

Journal 77

As I continued with my speech, the crowd parted to reveal a marble altar. Casey was standing next to the altar holding Aleece in her arms. Aleece was so big. I jumped down from the platform and grabbed Aleece from Casey. Aleece was beautiful. Her hair was long enough to put in little pretty bows. Casey had Aleece dressed in an enormously long white gown. Aleece had grown so much since I had seen her last. I hugged her with all my might. I had missed her so much. I twirled around the room and kissed Aleece all over.

Tony stopped me in mid twirl. He gently took Aleece from me and said it was time for the blessing. Tony laid Aleece on the altar. Pete said a few words over Aleece and sprinkled her with perfume. Then Casey stepped up to Aleece, pulled a dagger from her robe and prepared to strike. I yelled, “Stop.”

Tony whispered in my ear that the blessing must continue. I pushed Casey aside and grabbed Aleece off the altar. I was crying. “NO! You will not kill her.” Tony, in all his wisdom, said that if Aleece wasn’t worthy of the blessing I could choose another. Unexpectedly, everyone with toddlers and babies stepped forward and offered their children to me. I looked at the crowd. They were all crazy. The crowd started chanting in a low rumble “Choose…Choose…Choose…” I held Aleece as tightly as I could. I could not choose. I would not choose. I was thinking to myself that there had to be another way. Pete whispered in my ear that I could save the babies. I could save them all. All I had to do was offer myself to the crowd. The chanting changed into a constant low hum.

Book 2 Journal Entry 76

Book 2 Journal Entry 76

Journal 76

The girl handed me the robes. I don’t think she had a name. She smiled at me and thanked me for bringing the change. I was confused. I didn’t bring about anything. I was a prisoner. I tried to ask what she meant by that, but Tony interrupted. He kissed the girl on the forehead and gave her a gentle push out of my room. Tony insisted I change my clothes. It was time for the gathering.

People filled the front entrance of Bear Country. Everyone looked happy and content. There were smiling faces everywhere.

As Tony and I descended the stairs, everyone began to clap and call my name. The room filled with shouts of “Madie…Madie…Madie.” I had a sudden rush of adrenaline. I don’t know why but I suddenly felt important and a sense of knowing why I was there.

Tony and I walked through the crowd to the front of the room. Pete was standing on a platform behind a podium. Pete looked so very handsome in his white robes. Everyone in the room looked handsome. Tony and I stepped up onto the platform. Pete smiled and handed me my pink fluffy journal. Then Pete asked the crowd to be quiet.

The room was so quiet you could have heard a cricket chirp. Tony gave me a little push until I was standing behind the podium. He asked me to read the speech I had written. I opened my journal to the bookmarked page.

Welcome to Bear Country, we have gathered here in this place to celebrate a New Beginning. No more will we fight amongst each other. No more will the smallest of us suffer from hunger. No more will the outcast struggle to survive alone in a cold and evil world. Do not be afraid of what tomorrow will bring. Today we start anew.

We have all given a small part of ourselves to be here today. Our journey to this moment has been harsh and sometimes unbearable but I say to you. Your sacrifice has not been in vain. Each one of us must continue to give of ourselves if we are to continue this journey of enlightenment.

Book 2 Journal Entry 75

Book 2 Journal Entry 75

Journal 75

There was a lot of commotion coming from the hallway. It sounded like a party or a convention of some sort. I jumped out of bed. Again, my clothes were different! I was wearing a white cotton nightgown. Another inconvenience I had to deal with. I tiptoed over to my footlocker to make a quick clothing change. I lifted the lid. It was empty. Every piece of clothing I owned was gone. I dropped the lid out of frustration. It made more noise than I had intended. I stood motionless for a few seconds and waited to see if a guard entered my room. I quietly walked over to the door and peaked through the window out into the hallway. I watched several groups of people walk by my door. Everyone that passed by my room seemed happy and cheerful.

For a moment, I thought my two guard friends had finally abandoned me. Freedom was only one flight of stairs and an entrance lobby away. If I acted normally, I might be able to blend in and make it to the front doors. I was mistaken. I slowly opened my door to step into the hallway. Holding two pointy staff the guards stopped my exit. I thought of making a run for it but honestly, I didn’t think I would make it very far. I closed the door.

A few moments later Tony enters my room. He is dressed in royal white robes. His cheerfulness nearly made me puke. I tried to act as if I was glad to see him. I let him kiss me on the cheek. I even leaned in for the kiss. A girl accompanied Tony into my room. She was holding a white gown and a robe across her arms like the ones Tony was wearing. The girl looked familiar. I kept staring and staring. Tony asked me if there was something wrong. I said “No.” It took me a few moments to realize she was the girl from the warehouse. The one squished against the bars in the cage with the dead baby in her arms.

Book 2 Journal Entry 74

Book 2 Journal Entry 74

Journal 74

My nightmare didn’t end there. I tried to run out of the warehouse, but Tony wouldn’t let me leave. He said I had to watch. I needed to see the goodness of what was happening. Tony had the two guards that had accompanied us from Bear Country hold me in the place where I was standing. I didn’t want to watch it. I wanted to run away. I wanted to run away from the madness and insanity of this place. My best friend was someone I didn’t know anymore.

The prisoners were pulled off the tables, stripped naked, washed, and then dressed in new white clothes. Gretchen, Cecelia, and a couple of other people I didn’t know assisted the now docile prisoners to their seats on the bleachers. The guards forced another group of prisoners onto the tables and then another group and then another group. This went on for what seemed like hours until the last prisoner was processed.

I was so exhausted. I wanted the night to end. I was so tired of hearing people beg and plead for their lives. I was tired of seeing the already dead tossed aside as if they were garbage. I couldn’t stand up anymore. I was dizzy and lightheaded. I slumped to the warehouse floor. I don’t remember what happened next. I woke up in my room back home in Bear Country.

Book 2 Journal Entry 73

Book 2 Journal Entry 73

Journal 73

We turned the corner. Cages lined the street. There were four guards dressed as warriors around each cage. They pulled the cages in a procession towards the warehouse. The people in the cages were packed together like sardines. They all looked scared. No, they looked terrified. The stench was awful. The smell was so bad I was feeling the urge to puke.

As soon as the caged people saw me, they started yelling my name and begging for help. They were so loud my head started to spin. One young mother squished against the bars with her baby in her arms begged me to save her baby. I don’t think I could have saved the baby. She already looked grey. Her little lips were blue. The baby wasn’t the only casualty. There were several dead squished against the bars, all their faces in various expressions of death.

I watched Tony in horror. He didn’t seem fazed by what we were seeing. Tony smiled at me. He kissed my head and said everything was going to be fine. Tony dragged me into the warehouse. Everything was white. Bleachers lined the room. People dressed all in white sat on the bleachers with blank stares on their faces. In the center of the room were four tables. Marty instructed the guards to pull four kicking and screaming people out of the cages. A couple of dead were thrown into a trash dumpster in the corner.

The guards placed the four prisoners face down on the tables. They fought and fought but the guards held them down. One at a time, Marty placed a medical gun to the back of their heads. There was a pop and then silence. The prisoner stopped struggling. Marty placed a small device the size of a button on the back of their heads.

Book 2 Journal Entry 72

Book 2 Journal Entry 72

Journal 72

Tony and I walked out the front door of Bear Country. It was already dark. The night air was a little cool. I wished I had worn a sweater or jacket. I could see people standing around fire barrels in the distance. I wasn’t the only person feeling cold. I stopped at the top of the stairs. Tony encouraged me to proceed. He said we only had a short time to get where we were going. The guards that were behind me tapped me with their spears. So, I moved forward. I asked Tony if the guards were necessary. He just smiled and said the guards were for my safety. He didn’t want anything to happen to me.

Tony, the 2 guards and I practically sprinted up Lafayette Blvd. Tony was walking at an extremely quick pace. He was a man on a mission, and he was in a hurry to get there. I abruptly stopped in the middle of the road. The two guards behind me were practically following my footsteps. They nearly fell over trying to avoid running into me. What’s the rush, I asked? Tony grabbed my hand and drug me along. He said he had something wonderful to show me.

Book 2 Journal Entry 71

Book 2 Journal Entry 71

Journal 71

When I woke, I was lying on my bed and Tony was sitting in the chair next to me. He reached out to kiss my hand. I quickly withdrew my hand from his grasp. If Tony thought the little nap was going to change my disposition he was mistaken. I said a few dirty words.

Ok it was an entire paragraph worth of dirty words. Tony didn’t flinch. He sat there with a smile on his face and waited for me to finish. The whole purpose of saying language like that is to offend and get a rise out of people. I didn’t get a rise out of Tony. I thought of beginning again but quickly changed my mind. What would be the point?

Tony asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I secretly wanted freedom. We would get out in the open and I would take a break for it.

My tummy rumbled. The rumble was so loud the guards out in the hall heard it. I was so horribly hungry. I glanced at the tray brought in earlier. I don’t know how long the tray had been out, but I was starving. Tony acknowledged my hunger. He heard the rumble. Tony had the guards come in, take the old tray, and bring a new one. Fruit and pastries filled the new tray. I have had fresh fruit, but I hadn’t seen pastries like that in years. I ate until I couldn’t eat any more. The whole time Tony just sat and watched.