The Journal of Madie Beartri

Journal 110

Aleece is asleep. I have been sitting at my desk for more than hour thinking about Tony and Runt (Victor). I’m not sure when I jumped over the line from being a child to thinking I was grown. If my parents were alive, they would still consider me a child. My parents would expect me to live by and follow their rules. My parents aren’t alive, and I set my own rules. I live my life the way I want.

Victor wants to live by his own rules. He wants to live his life the way he wants to. Tony believes that he has the responsibility to make sure that Victor grows up to lead a happy healthy life. Victor is still a little boy. He still hasn’t reached his teenage years. Tony has established a set of rules for Victor to follow and until recently Victor hasn’t had much of a problem following those rules. Victor has become extremely defiant. Tony has his hands full. I am not certain if Tony is going to be able to control Victor for much longer. Moreover, technically, there is nothing forcing Victor to follow Tony’s rule. There is no family connection, not a real one.

Victor snuck out of the basement and went to the Black Cobras. Tony caught up to him before he actually had the opportunity to enter the Black Cobras gang building. Luckily, the line to get in was extremely long. Tony drugged Victor back to Bear Country kicking and screaming. It was not a pretty site. I haven’t been to the basement, but I have a feeling Tony has tied Victor to a chair or some stable object.

Journal 109

My life is full of stress and more stress. Maybe I should reconsider my friends. When I went to bed last night, I was alone. I woke up this morning to find Aleece in my room. I was having a dream and, in my dream, I heard a baby cry. I was looking everywhere for the baby and I couldn’t find it. I was in this building and that building, down by the lake and roaming the halls of Bear Country. I don’t know what exactly made me wake up but when I did, Aleece was in my room crying. I picked up Aleece and went down to the cafeteria to get her a bottle because Casey didn’t think to leave me one. I think I spent most of the morning pissed and angry. I ran into Sheriff Pete in the cafeteria. He asked me if I was having a bad day. I just glared at him probably with an evil expression on my face and continued making Aleece her bottle. Then I ran into Tony, Lisa, and Jonas on my way back to my room. They were discussing something. I don’t know what. Tony asks if I needed some help. I simply said “NO” rather abruptly and kept on walking.  I laid Aleece in her cradle to get a drink of water from the sink because I forgot to get myself something when I was downstairs. I looked in the mirror and had a terrible fright. My hair was a mess. It was sticking up all over my head and then I realized that I had been downstairs without a robe on. I was just wearing my gown.

Aleece was cranky and cried most of the morning. Mid-morning, Aleece decides she needs a nap, and I lay her back down in the crib. I see the note Casey left me. I don’t know why I didn’t see it earlier. The note didn’t make me feel any better.

Journal 108

I attended a gang meeting with several of the local gang leaders. It is not a surprise, the local leaders split on the “Bliss” issue. The meeting was loud, noisy, and violent. I left with an excruciating headache and a sore hand from punching one of the other gang leaders. In my defense, he swung at me first. All I said was that “Bliss” was going to shrink his already little brain. We accomplished nothing. The gang drew lines between those who think “Bliss” is a menace and those who think “Bliss” is just a recreational drug that helps make life tolerable.

“Bliss” posters encouraging its use are posted all over town. I was so angry after the meeting that I tore down several posters on my way back to Bear Country. To make matters even worse, as I was walking through the center of town I noticed a gang called the Black Cobras handing out free samples of “Bliss” to anyone who wanted to try it.

In only a couple of days, the little Bliss Kiosks has grown into an entire building with Black Cobra guards posted out front. Apparently, you have to be a member to enter. The line to get in was half way down the block.

Journal 107

I hate it when days go badly. Today was awful. The people of Bear Country have had their share of arguments. I’m wondering if a full moon is expected tonight or sometime within the next day or two. I had an argument with Casey. I think everyone in Bear Country heard us yelling at each other. I didn’t even realize how loud our discussion had become until we started to draw a crowd. People already think I have gone over the deep end. My credibility as a gang leader is dwindling fast.

I heard Jonas and Lisa having a dispute as I was passing thru the theater to the green house to get some bell peppers. They were standing in the balcony seats. Lisa was yelling at Jonas to mind his business. Jonas was trying to get her to listen to reason. They quit yelling when the theater door slammed shut behind me. I passed thru to the other side as quickly as possible. I have my own problems. I didn’t want to get involved in theirs.

Sheriff Pete and one of his deputies found a couple of the younger children; including Victor buying “Bliss” behind the cafeteria. I am thinking that the drug dealer selling the “Bliss” is going to think twice before coming around Bear Country again. Providing Pete and his deputies let him out of jail anytime soon. Sheriff Pete put Victor and his little friends in jail for a couple of hours to teach them a lesson.

Tony was furious when he heard Victor was trying to buy “Bliss”. I have seen Tony angry. It’s not very pretty. He was past angry today. I rather felt sorry for Victor. Tony said that tomorrow he is taking Victor to the center of town to show them what happens to people when they are hooked on drugs. It shouldn’t be too hard to find someone. Tony grounded Victor to the basement until further notice. I don’t think parole is in the near future.

Journal 106

Casey returned to Bear Country sometime in the middle of the night. She didn’t even drop in my room to get Aleece.  On the way down to breakfast, Aleece and I stopped by Casey’s room. Casey was sleeping on her bed, still in her clothes. She looked as if she had crawled thru a swamp. For a brief moment, I thought of waking her up. A large pitcher of ice water would do it. I changed my mind; I didn’t want Aleece to see me yell at her mom.

Down at breakfast Aleece and I ran into Tony and Runt. Tony was making pancakes. I asked him “what was the occasion.” He said he was just in the mood. At breakfast, the Runt informed us he wants to be called, “Victor”. Tony and I looked at each other. I want sure what to say. I asked Runt why Victor. He said it was what his brother used to call him. I didn’t even know Runt had a brother and apparently neither did Tony. The both of us, in unison said, “You have a brother?” Runt (Victor) said he had a big brother named Price and that he was part of a bike gang called the Devils of Lancaster. Victor said his brother was going to come back for him. His brother would initiate him into the gang when he got bigger. Tony found Runt on our doorstep dirty and hungry. He had no idea that Runt was abandoned at Bear Country by his big brother. I had no idea. Another mystery solved.

Journal 105

Aleece and I spent the rest of the evening at the Spurs Campsite with Joshua. We didn’t do much of anything except for sit around, talk, and eat great food. Aleece spent the evening passed from one person to another. I think she had a great time. What baby wouldn’t enjoy all that attention?

It was dark before it occurred to me that Aleece and I should probably head back to Bear Country. Joshua offered to walk us back. I took him up on the offer although; I was tempted to stay at the Spurs Campsite until the morning. The only thing that kept me from doing that was I wasn’t sure exactly when Casey would be returning. I didn’t tell her we were going to spend the day with Joshua. I didn’t want her to panic when she realized we weren’t in Bear Country.

The walk back was nice until we got to the center of town. People were huddled around fire barrels. Nothing looked unusual until you noticed their drunken stupor, odd behavior, and irritability. There were fights happening everywhere. How could I be so blind and not realize the extent of the “Bliss” problem. If this many people are using the drug? Why did I not notice? Joshua was just as surprised. There was even a kiosk with the words “Bliss” in big letters on the front selling the drug.

We passed thru the center of town as quickly as possible. I don’t think I breathed until Bear Country was in site. I thanked Joshua for walking us home. I offered him a place to stay for the night. He declined. He said he needed to return to the Spurs.

I tucked Aleece into bed and then went looking for Casey. I couldn’t find her anywhere in Bear Country. No one I asked had seen her all day.

Journal 104

Casey once again left on her trip thru the bad part of town to see her undisclosed friend.  I asked where she was going and whom was she seeing. She said it wasn’t any of my business. I am trying hard not to be noisy but curiosity and concern for Aleece has me a little suspicious. I guess I should be happy that she asks me to take care of Aleece while she is away.

Aleece, Lost and I traveled out to the Spurs Campsite to see Joshua. They have really built things up out there. They have fenced in a large part of the area where the cattle are grazing and have put up several buildings. Joshua said they have more plans for construction. He plans to build an entire fort. I can’t wait to see it. I guess this means they plan to stay for a long time. I’m glad because I like Joshua he is a good leader.

After lunch, Aleece and I accompanied Joshua to town for supplies. Everything was going well until we decided to stop for a drink at one of the local bars. We were sitting at a comfortable table, enjoying our drinks, and having a nice conversation when three men dressed in black walked into the bar. They demanded to see the proprietor. The proprietor came out and invited the men to the back room. Joshua and I looked at each. Should we leave, should we stay? I need to learn to make decisions more quickly. Just as we were getting ready to pay our tab, one of the men hurled the proprietor thru the door. He crashed into the tables on the other side of the room.

I picked up Aleece and Joshua paid the tab. All I heard was “We want the drugs or payment.” We were half way down the street a minute later.

Journal 103

Apparently, the members of people Bear Country object to rules put in place without their consent. I try to be a good leader but sometimes it seems I jump the gun and forget that other people have opinions. With that said, I held a meeting to discuss “Bliss” with everyone that lives in Bear Country. Most people attended. Sheriff Pete discussed the proposed no drug use policy inside of Bear Country. Marty, Gretchen, and Cecelia gave a wonderful talk on the pitfalls of using drugs and the journal club helped by making the fliers and pictures for the presentation. It seems I prematurely banned the use of “Bliss” inside of Bear Country. I focused on the illegal drug issue. It didn’t occur to me that I should take a vote.

The citizen of Bear Country voted to:

1. Ban the use of “Bliss” inside of Bear Country.
2. Anyone caught using “Bliss” inside of Bear Country will be asked to stop their use.
3. If they cannot stop using “Bliss”, they will be asked to leave Bear Country.
4. Anyone caught selling “Bliss” inside of Bear Country will be asked to leave immediately.

Casey made it back to Bear Country safely. I still do not know who she went to see or why.

Journal 102

Aleece is spending the entire day with me. Casey left early this morning on her little journey thru the bad part of town to see her undisclosed friend. She said she would be home by nightfall. I hope Casey knows what she is doing. I have the awful feeling that something bad is going to happen. She is being extremely secretive. I asked Tony if he knew what was going on with Casey. He said he didn’t have a clue.

Matt and Hemy dropped by my room. They are doing well and look so incredibly happy. I think I am somewhat envious. Hemy says things are going well at Central with one exception. Someone is distributing drugs and not the good kind that cures illnesses. Twice this week Matt stumbled across some sad looking individual in the park next to the Central Campus obviously strung out on something.

I was just getting ready to say that I haven’t seen any drug use near Bear Country, when Sheriff Pete walked up and interrupted. He said that the use of drugs is becoming a problem in the community. The sellers are calling this drug. “Bliss” To my surprise the locker incident yesterday was actually Pete interrupting a sale of “Bliss” inside Bear Country.

There are no laws in place forbidding the use of illegal drugs. Even if there were any such laws, it would be difficult to enforce. The local gangs have their own codes of conduct. I have asked the journal club to put up fliers inside Bear Country. Anyone caught using “Bliss” inside Bear Country will have to find a new place to live. Hemy and Matt will be placing similar fliers inside the Central Campus. Out of concern for the local community, I plan to visit a few of the other gangs in town and ask for their support against “Bliss”. If enough gangs ban the use of “Bliss” perhaps we can stop this from becoming too much of a problem.

Journal 101

It’s been a lazy day. I haven’t done much of anything. I did take Lost for a walk. We took a short walk, once around the block. There is nothing important to discuss about Bear Country. Although, I did round a corner earlier today on my way to the cafeteria for grilled cheese and see Sheriff Pete slam someone up against a locker. I asked if I could be of assistance. Pete said “No” rather abruptly…”Problem solved!” Pete looked as if he had things under control. The locker ornament looked as if he was getting Pete’s message loud and clear. I didn’t want to intrude so I went back the way I had come. I am curious about the dispute. I didn’t recognize the person slammed against the lockers. Oh well, the next time I see Sheriff Pete, I will ask him about the fight.

Casey said she needed to go on a small trip tomorrow to see an old friend. The journey would take her thru the bad part of town and she didn’t want to take Aleece along.  I asked, “what friend?”  Casey said he was just a friend. I didn’t know him.  I asked if it was Xavier. Casey looked at me as if I was crazy. She said that if I didn’t want to watch Aleece just say so. She would get someone else. I agreed to watch Aleece. I hope Casey knows what she is doing. The last time she went on a little trip she disappeared for a couple of months.